The Wild One
by Cielo VII
Summary: When a pregnancy test comes back positive, Edd and Marie's relationship faces the ultimate test. Was everyone right about her? Was everyone wrong about him? What does this mean for their future, and that of the new life they've produced? Edd/Marie
1. Marie

Hey, everyone! I've been reading a lot of Edd/Marie lately and thought I should try my hand at it. You know me; I thrive on angsty fics. *drool* Or at least they're the only ones I remotely know how to write (shrug). So here's a story about Marie getting pregnant. Ta-da! Of course the pairing is **Edd/Marie**.

PS: This fic is neither meant to glamorize teen pregnancy nor shun those who have experienced it. I've seen it happen to my childhood friends, and it's a harsh way to face reality and grow up in a flash. Please wait until after marriage to have sex, or at least use protection and be responsible. I'm 99.9 percent sure this fanfiction teaches no lessons whatsoever in that regard (lol). Just getting that out of the way.

Ages: 16 (Marie, Edd, Eddy) 17 (Ed, Lee) 15 (May)

Pairing: Edd/Marie

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Ed Edd n Eddy. A girl can dream, though.

The Wild One

~Chapter One~

(**Marie**)

I love my life.

For the past four years, I've been madly in love. I was twelve when I met him. My sisters and I had moved to a new town with our mom and decided to make a fresh start by getting the attention of these three cute guys we'd seen hanging out together. The fact that they were unpopular didn't turn us off, but only made them easier to screw with. From the very beginning, we were in it for ourselves.

That first impression defined the next few years. What had started as a joke – a light crush at best – had become to outright bullying. We used fear to toy with their heads and terrorize them until they cringed at the very thought of our presence. That's what it means to show someone you care, right? Regardless, we had been taught that this was what men were worth. I secretly wished Edd and I could have a real conversation one day, maybe even a real relationship. My deep mistrust of all things with a penis was suddenly crumbling away, but no one could know. I couldn't even admit it to myself.

By the time we started to grow up, I realized it was too late to fix Edd's opinion of me. This insight didn't do much to curb my immature behavior; when I'm upset, I only get more violent. Eventually, I felt myself give up on anything real between us and settled on mauling him whenever I could.

One day, my sisters and I were talking about sex, our favorite topic. I remember laughter, though mine was hollow. I finally got up the nerve to ask, "So... do you think we'll ever really be the Eds' girlfriends?"

May looked quizzical, but Lee just barked out a laugh full of taunting bitterness. "Are you f*cked in the head?"

Rather than getting angry like I normally would, something strange happened. I felt my heart sink and I lowered my eyes, wishing I'd never asked.

"I really like Double D," I muttered. "And I... I think he might really hate me..."

I think Lee could tell I was serious, but I guess none of us really knew how to deal with it other than laughing and lying to ourselves. So that's what we did. I wondered if Lee and May felt the same way about Eddy and Ed as I did for Double D. Something told me they didn't, and that only made me feel more lonely.

At night, I would cry, then during the day I would bully people and seethe. It may have been easy to hide my feelings from family and prey, but not from myself. It always took its toll when I was alone, facing my thoughts with no distraction, wondering what my future would look like and if I could ever fall in love with someone who would love me back or treat me right.

The three of us eventually backed off a little, mainly because we had our own things going on. Gradually, I took to avoiding Edd altogether. I wanted so desperately to be near him, but at the same time it hurt because I knew it was always a temporary fix. It hurt too much to know that I was pushing him away with my every move, and that it might be impossible to prove to him I wasn't what he thought I was.

By the time Edd and I were fourteen, we were like strangers. Every time I managed to make eye contact with him, I saw him flare up and turn away like I still terrified him. He probably didn't know how much this reaction hurt my feelings; he would have hidden it better if he did. I knew Edd was too sweet to make someone feel bad, even someone as useless as me.

I can't put my finger on the moment or even the reason, but one day I got up the guts to talk to him when I saw him walking home alone.

I know this won't sound right, but just because I didn't get approach him doesn't mean I didn't watch him. It wasn't uncommon for me to follow him home, staying just far enough away to remain invisible but close enough to hear his gentle footsteps and the shuffling of his bag on his shoulder.

Today, I jogged up behind him. I didn't know why he was alone, but I assumed his friends had detention. It wouldn't be the first time; I usually avoided following all three Eds, but it was nice to see them interact. My heart beat for those little moments of seeing him smile, hearing his laughter or sarcastic sighs. Overcome with loneliness, I would treasure his nearness and remind myself it would never be me he walked with in step.

I didn't want to be a stalker for the rest of my life, or a girl who cried all night holding a sloppily-sewn doll that resembled the guy she'd pushed away for years over her own cowardice. I could only see it leading to a life of bitterness and regret. If I really cared for Edd, I had to stop chasing him around without purpose. It wasn't fair to pretend I was a part of his life, to let him tear me apart without knowing the whole story. Most of all, I needed that little bit of contact, that thrill of closeness I'd been craving.

Edd seemed to stiffen up and walk faster when he saw me behind him. "Wait!" I cried when he started walking faster. "Double D, please, I just want to talk!"

I guess he could hear sincerity in my voice, though it was alien to us both.

For a few moments, we walked in silence. He was staring straight ahead, blushing like crazy. I could hear my own heart pounding as I said, "Can we just talk? Please?"

"Sure," he rasped.

"Can we stop and talk?"

This time it was impatience he heard, and we sat on a park bench to catch our breaths. I remember my palms sweating like crazy despite the chilly air. I wiped them on my jeans and waited for the words to come, but my head felt blank. I had no idea how to start the conversation – suddenly I wasn't sure what I could realistically want from him.

Still, I needed reassurance. If anything, I could tell him he didn't have to worry about getting mauled anymore. Maybe then our moments of eye contact would be a little more civil, and if that was as far as I got... at least I got somewhere.

For a while, we sat in silence. I watched Edd's leg bounce up and down nervously, and smiled despite myself. He's so cute. Depressingly enough, I couldn't get over the fact that we were sitting close together, alone, _with consent_.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

Edd looked at me, surprised. "What?"

I continued staring at my hands, feeling my face heat up. "I-I'm just sorry. I'm sorry for being a bitch to you."

My throat tightened up, but I refused to cry.

Edd didn't say anything, so I continued: "I guess you probably hate me by now. I just wanted you to know I was sorry is all. And... I don't know. I never knew how to show my real feelings besides beating the shit out of you. I'm sorry I never asked you - how you felt about it... or cared how you felt about it."

I hated myself as I was unable to hold back tears in my voice. I hardly felt a soft touch on my back as Edd comforted me awkwardly. I turned my face away, already feeling my natural angry impulse return. My physical being wanted to slap that hand away, but my heart wanted it to stay on that exact spot and never move.

"Marie," he said softly, "I, uh… I think it took a lot of courage for you to tell me that."

I looked up and saw him curse himself for such a stupid statement. I smiled and felt my heart soar. Every little nerdy thing he did was beyond charming to me. I'm demented, I know... but it's okay.

"So, are you saying..." he rubbed the back of his neck, acting more transparent than ever. I guess not everyone is as great as me at hiding their fear. "...that you actually do like me?"

Though at the time I failed to recognize the hopefulness of his tone, his statement surprised me. "You know I do," I replied. "I just messed everything up at the beginning and didn't know what else to do besides chasing you around." I paused. "I stopped because I was sick of making you fear me. It's not that satisfying anymore. I don't even know why it's hard to say this, because you already know I've got it good for you. I mean, I think about you all the time..." I turned away so he wouldn't notice me blushing. "I just... I like you a _lot_, and... it hurts, you know? It sucks when you love someone and they don't love you back."

I looked up to see the most adorable smile on this planet. Edd was visibly shaky, eyes wide, rubbing his hands together. After stammering for a while, he managed, "N-no, that's not... I mean, I do like you... Marie. I just..." he cleared his throat and I continued staring in shock. Was I really hearing this? If I woke up and this was a dream, I'd break the house.

"What do you mean?" I whispered, expecting him to skirt around the fact he liked me as a human being, as an "acquaintance" or friend.

He nervously took one of my hands. His palm was just about as sweaty as mine. I bit my lower lip, smiling like a dork. If anyone was watching this, I'd drop kick them on the balls.

"I think you're really beautiful." He wouldn't look me in the eye he was so nervous. "I mean… it's okay. I didn't tell you how I felt either, because I didn't think you felt the same way. I just want to get to know you better, if that's all right."

My heart soared as I nodded idiotically.

We slowly got closer until we hugged. A kiss would have been nice, but the hug was filled with so much warmth and kindness that the tears poured out like water from a kettle. I rested my cheek on his shoulder, squeezing him tighter.

"I always thought you were just messing with me," he admitted, voice a little muffled by my coat.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed. Bringing my voice to a whisper, I added, "I'm so stupid."

"Me too."

Fortunately, he didn't get used to seeing me vulnerable like that. We may be official, but that doesn't mean I'm willing to let my guard down again.

Like I said, I LOVE MY LIFE. It'll be two years running soon, and our relationship feels about as natural as breathing. I guess all that time we spent fearing each other - one fearing a front and the other fearing rejection - built up to so much relief at our true feelings that we can't help but appreciate each other. Even when we have a falling out, it's not that hard to make up.

Especially now that we're finally intimate.

I feel like I've loosened him up a bit. Then again, he probably thinks he's rubbing off on me as well. Over time, I could feel the wall we'd built up between us slowly falling away. Now I know what it feels like to be in love.

Whatever's changed in the the two years since we've been dating is worth it. We have each other, we love each other, and that's all we need.

That's what I tell myself.


	2. Promise

The Wild One

~Chapter Two~

(**Promise**)

"Happy anniversary!"

There was a pause. Marie bit her bottom lip and smiled, blushing. "Happy anniversary," she said, this time with a much more sultry tone.

Running her hands across her stomach, she repeated, "Happy anniversary... _baby_."

Only a few seconds passed before she sighed and dropped her arms. Staring at her reflection, she wondered why these two words were giving her so much trouble. It may not have been obvious, but things like this made her incredibly nervous; every date with Edd felt like another confession to her secret crush despite the fact that they had officially been dating for two years.

Tonight _needed_ to be special. She had no idea what Edd was planning, but it made her laugh to see him scrambling to hide some sort of special date when she herself was planning to surprise _him_. At five o'clock that night, he was coming to pick her up, and she'd be waiting. Her mother and sisters were supposed to leave and give them some privacy; she could only hope they'd stay true to their word. If they assumed she wanted alone time with Edd for some innocent reason and decided to walk through the door... well, they'd see more than they ever wanted to see.

The thought made her grin, but she soon found her mouth twisting as she rubbed a hand gently across her chest. Lately she'd been feeling very tender there, and she'd even worn Lee's sports bra instead of her too-tight cups for comfort. All day it had seemed to work, but suddenly the discomfort was back. A wave of fear washed over her quickly, but she tried to dismiss it.

Taking a deep breath, she rested on the bed and tried to distract herself with TV. Edd wouldn't arrive for another few hours, and she was too tired for pointless mirror practice.

Something much more important was on her mind. She'd missed her period.

This had happened before, even when she was a virgin. Her period delayed and it scared her so much (as her sisters filled her head with paranoia-inducing but foolish possibilities) that she didn't start until a week after schedule. She told herself the same thing was happening again, that her anxiety and nerves about their anniversary had disrupted her natural cycle.

Thinking about it, even for a minute, made it difficult to forget. It had only been a day or two, but something told her it was different this time. It was implausible, wrong... they were always careful in order to avoid any consequences. She wasn't pregnant. It was impossible. Stupid. She probably had a brain tumor lying atop her pituitary gland. Yeah, yeah, that's all.

_I'm just a hypochondriac_, she thought as she closed her eyes. _The more I think about it, the more I think I have the symptoms. There's nothing to worry about; with my luck, I'll probably start my fregging period tonight when I'm with Double D_.

It was just after four when Marie awoke from an unplanned nap. She sat up, gasped, and rushed to get ready without bothering to turn the TV off.

She cursed silently when she heard voices. _Why won't they leave? They're going to screw everything up tonight!_

Trying not to draw attention, she crept to the bathroom and locked the door. Before getting in the shower, she lifted up the trash can and breathed a sigh of relief. The pregnancy test she had bought a couple of months ago lay undisturbed; she knew one of her sisters would find it if she hid it anywhere around her room, and somehow the prospect of her mother finding it was a little less scary. At least with someone as mature as her, she could say it was "just in case" (which it had been, at first) and hear the end of it.

Before lowering the can again, she thought for a moment about using it then and there. The idea passed by; she wanted to gussy up more than anything. Her breasts had stopped hurting, and she let that be her answer.

The warm shower felt good and calmed her nerves. Still, she felt a little dizzy and her hands shook as she applied foundation afterwards, noticing just how pale her face looked in the foggy mirror. It wasn't often that she wore any makeup other than eyeliner and the occasional lip gloss, but if Edd wanted to take her somewhere fancy after their spontaneous "moment" she had planned, she didn't want to make him wait for her.

After a moment or two, she found herself gripping the sink, then pressing her hands against her head. _These nerves are driving me crazy_...

A knock at the door made her flinch. "Yeah?" she called.

"I'm off to work," came her mother's voice. "May and Lee just left to meet with some friends."

This made Marie raise an eyebrow. Friends? They were probably going to screw with Edd's friends. Well, at least that would keep them occupied... maybe tonight could work out after all.

"Okay, see ya."

There was a pause. "Are you all right?"

Marie's heart flipped. Did she sound strange? "Yeah, fine," she replied a bit unconvincingly. "See you later. I'll be home late."

"Not too late, though," her mother warned. "Have fun tonight."

Marie waited until she was sure the conversation was over, then let out a breath. _Oh, please, let tonight go okay..._

Just to be safe from the digestive issues she'd been experiencing lately (another common symptom of anxiety), she took a quick swig of Pepto Bismol. The chalky taste made her shudder, but it was one less thing to worry about.

As she stood naked in her bedroom, hoping no one had forgotten anything, she examined the outfit she'd decided to wear.

It was a lacy number she'd picked up just after their first anniversary. Its purpose was exactly this, and their first time was a bit unexpected so she hadn't had the chance to wear it. Looking at the silky, teal lingerie, then at herself, she wondered if it would turn him on like she'd hoped. Her stomach seemed pretty bloated, making her wonder once again why she wasn't on her menstrual cycle. She seemed to have all the symptoms except one.

Shaking her head to dismiss the thought once again, she slipped the outfit over her shoulders and looked at her reflection. When she turned to the side, her belly did poke out a little bit. It bothered her, but she figured Edd wouldn't mind; she'd never been one of those anorexic supermodels, and he still called her beautiful every day.

The clock glowed 4:56. Her heart pounded with excitement and she took deep breaths to calm it and her churning stomach. She refused to let her nerves ruin the romance.

The sound of crunching leaves outside made her gasp. Holding a shirt in front of her torso to be safe, she walked over to the window and glanced out to see Edd, four minutes early, shuffling his feet and facing the opposite direction. Her face relaxed and she smiled, filled with a familiar warmth at his adorable politeness. She knew he wouldn't announce his presence until exactly 5:00.

Playing his game, she quietly rushed around to make sure everything was organized. She stuffed the shirt into the closet with most of the other things that had been lying around and then lounged on the bed, trying to catch her breath so it would seem like she'd been there all along.

The doorbell rang just on time. She called, "It's open!" It was hard to make a loud statement sound sexy.

Edd carefully opened the door and entered, looking around to find Marie. Just as the door clicked back in place, he heard a purr from down the hall: "I'm in my room, Eddward."

A nervous smile found its way to his lips. The inviting tone she'd used said it all.

Marie gave him a coy smile when she saw him standing shyly in her doorway. He was blushing and fidgeting so much she thought she might explode from adorable overload. He took the hint when she ushered him over with a finger.

"Happy anniversary," she cooed as Edd climbed onto the bed. He smiled and kissed her, then whispered, "Happy anniversary, Marie. You look so..." his cheeks flushed when he said the uncharacteristic word. "...hot."

Marie giggled and pulled him on top of her. They kissed slowly, enjoying every second together. Edd pulled away to kiss her shoulder, pulling one of her thin straps down and rubbing the smooth skin there.

"Hope I'm not interrupting your big plan for tonight," Marie managed.

Edd moved and rested his forehead against hers. "Are you kidding? You stole the best part of my plan."

Marie laughed and pushed him playfully. Just as he started kissing her again, she felt a jolt inside.

Edd didn't seem to notice her tension, and she tried to ignore it. Her stomach was acting up again. She prayed it would pass... _No, not now, not now!_

Marie tried to catch her composure when Edd stood up and walked around looking for protection. She could have told him it was in her bedside drawer, but she didn't want to speak. She took deep breaths and wondered how she could play it off if she started feeling sick again.

When Edd finally found what he was looking for, he crawled back onto the bed beside Marie and kissed her cheek. She smiled at him, but he suddenly sat up and gave her a strange look. "Are you all right?" he asked.

Marie nodded.

He cocked his head to the side and pushed her hair back, looking concerned. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, why?" As a matter of fact, her nausea was already passing. Still, she worried about it happening again; she couldn't help but fear its return at the most inopportune time. Edd seemed satisfied enough, assuming he was only imagining things, and began unbuttoning his shirt.

Marie wrapped her arms around Edd's neck. His kisses should have calmed her nerves, but somehow they only made her feel more worried and uncomfortable. He was just as awkward as ever as he fumbled with his undershirt, untucking it. Marie's hands weren't steady enough to help him this time, but she stayed still so he wouldn't notice.

He had just pulled it off when Marie started feeling unwell again. This time, however, she couldn't risk staying. "Hold on a sec," she said, and jumped out of bed.

Edd froze, then sat up, covering his lap with a blanket. "Marie?" Something wasn't right...

Edd's heart stopped when he heart the unmistakable sound of retching.

Marie rested her head on the toilet seat, groaning. _That did not just happen,_ she thought. _You've GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!_

At this point, she knew it wasn't all nerves. So what, then? What was causing all of this?

Tears burned in her eyes. More than anything, she was humiliated. _He won't want to see me after this_, she convinced herself, positioning over the toilet bowl once again. _I can't believe this happened... Ho, man..._

There was a light knock at the door, even though it was already wide open. Marie turned her head away, not wanting him to see her.

"Are you okay?" Edd's voice sounded genuine enough, but she knew he didn't want to be there.

"Go away!" she muttered.

Edd showed no signs of leaving. Instead, he walked up beside her and knelt, then covered her with a blanket and draped an arm over her shoulder. She stiffened.

"It's okay," he whispered, rubbing her back. "You should have told me you were sick, Marie. We could have postponed our date."

Marie reached up unceremoniously and flushed. "I didn't know I was," she half-lied.

The statement worried him, but Edd simply rubbed her back again and said the only thing he could think of: "We all get sick sometimes."

Marie sighed. "You can just go home," she said, unable to hide the tears of frustration and disappointment, and other emotions she couldn't quite pinpoint. "I'm... I'm sorry I ruined everything!"

Edd was surprised to see Marie this upset. It wasn't the first time either of them had been ill, so why would she be crying like that? Of course, the situation was different and he knew she was embarrassed, but why was she crying? She should have been angry and frustrated, not... this.

Seeing a rare side of his girlfriend only concerned Edd more. "Are you done?" he asked quietly.

"I said get the f*ck out!"

Back to her old self. "I'm not leaving you alone," he challenged her.

Marie growled in frustration, covering her face with her hands. "All I wanted was one perfect night for us!" she sobbed. "I always do this! I always mess everything up!"

"You know that's not true..."

"SHUT UP! You know it is!"

Edd sighed. "Come on, let me take care of you. Please?"

Marie sobbed, wondering what exactly was going on and avoiding the answer that kept appearing in her mind.

Edd wasn't much for anything unconsented, but he dragged Marie to her feet anyway and led her back to her room. Once there, he handed her a ratty-looking robe.

As soon as she had covered the gown, she found herself wrapped in a warm embrace. Edd stroked her back and assured her everything was all right, that there was nothing to worry over. He turned off the light and they got under the covers, where he took her in his arms and held her close. "I'm here," he whispered. "I'll always be here."

Marie couldn't help but smile. It was natural but pointless to feel embarrassed around Edd. He always understood...

The night ended up admittedly wonderful. Marie felt herself healing as Edd brushed her bangs over and over again, smiling at her. The look on his face told her more than words could, about how much he loved her, how much he loved caring for her. He was perfectly fine with cuddling all night, even though neither of them could help but wish they had finished their earlier task.

"I hope you didn't go to too much trouble," Marie mumbled after a long period of silence.

"No," he whispered, kissing her cheek. "There's nothing to worry about. Are you feeling okay?"

Marie nodded. "I feel better now."

Edd sat up and felt around on himself, confusing Marie. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"I brought you a gift," he said. "I just... where is it?"

Marie smiled and settled back on the pillow. She squinted at the light when he flicked it on, feeling relaxed for the first time in days.

"A-ha!" Edd produced a small box from the floor. Marie grinned at his triumphant look. She sat up and accepted the gift, feeling guilty that hers had failed so hard.

Edd opened the box for her and she saw a silver band with a red ring around it. For a moment, she simply stared with awe. It was simple, but beautiful. Edd slipped it onto her left ring finger. It fit.

"It's a promise ring," Edd explained, though she had already figured as much. "I-I know you don't really go for that kind of thing, but... I mean, well, I wanted to get you something nice, so... that's real ruby, you know. And sterling silver. It means... you know, the monogamy and committment..."

He trailed off, relieved when Marie hugged him. He'd worried that she wouldn't like the ring, that she would worry over how fancy it was.

"It's so gorgeous," she stated, moving her left hand to examine it. "Now I really wish I'd gotten you something. I feel really bad right now..."

Edd panicked again, saying, "No, no! Don't worry about it, really! I just... I just wanted you to have that ring, because I - I wanted you to know that I'm serious about you."

Marie's heart was pounding. How long had she been waiting to hear that? The past two years were still possibly a coma dream she could wake up from at any time. She leaned forward and kissed him, then pulled away, forgetting that she probably didn't taste very good.

Edd kissed her back, chastely.

"Thank you," Marie cooed, then regained her composure. This mushy crap was about to make her sick again. "Come here, oven mitt!"

Edd hugged her and made a big deal out of not being able to breathe as she squeezed him back. Much of the day's tension disappeared as they laughed and held each other.

The light outside disappeared only a few minutes later. Edd had his arms wrapped around Marie from behind as they watched some comedy movie and Marie's tired mind worked to redefine romance. Edd's chin on her neck, his hands on her belly, her hands on his hands... laughing at stupid jokes, then sighing and adjusting themselves for no reason. This was her kind of date.

Even if she did have to get up and pee about every forty-five minutes.

Even if her breasts hurt again.

Even if she couldn't shake the unwavering feeling that there was something wrong.

Edd's face rested on her neck. He was almost asleep, sighing and cuddling with her as he drifted off. She played with her promise ring, twisting it back and forth, listening to the muffled voices of her family trying to stay quiet in the living room.

_I'm pregnant, aren't I? _


	3. Truth

The Wild One

~Chapter Three~

(**Truth**)

Edd awoke to find himself alone in Marie's bed, slowly remembering the previous night's events. Glancing at the clock, he saw that it was already past nine o'clock; he could hear activity outside and assumed breakfast was in progress.

For a moment, he felt a pang of fear. Sometimes Marie's mother intimidated him, and he knew he'd be walking out that door straight into the path of her scrutinizing eyes. Climbing out the window was probably not the best idea, though; his shoes were still by the front door.

Edd walked timidly through the small hallway and found Lee and May huddled over the stove while their mother sat at the table, reading the morning paper and tapping her fingers.

His presence went unnoticed long enough for him to realize what was missing. "Where's Marie?"

Three pairs of eyes found him standing there, barefoot, his hand pressed timidly against the doorframe. He nodded at May and Lee, blushing and giving himself away unintentionally. They turned back toward one another with their usual smirks and snorted with contained giggles. Their mother snapped the paper straight and continued to stare up at Edd, reading his face.

"She left a few minutes ago on an errand," she replied. "Said she didn't want to disturb you. Long night?"

Though Edd knew she was aware of the nature of their relationship, he stammered out a feeble denial: "U-um, well, no, you see... ah... W-we didn't... um..."

The woman was giving him a slightly accusatory look with her daughter's eyes. Still, a smile played on her lips as she said, "Relax already."

"Come have some breakfast," May said brightly, setting a plate of eggs and bacon on the table. He stepped around a chair and held up his hands politely. "No, thank you. I don't want to be any trouble."

Lee plopped into a chair and scoffed. "Think he'd have learned by now," she mumbled.

A chair scooted loudly across the floor, led by Ms. Kanker's foot. Edd smiled shyly and sat. He'd had more family meals in the past two years than in the fourteen before he and Marie began dating.

After a short silence, Edd thought aloud, "I hope Marie's feeling better."

Ms. Kanker lifted her head to give him a quizzical look. "What do you mean?"

Edd stirred his eggs with his fork. "She was pretty sick last night."

This got the attention of her sisters as well. "She seemed fine this morning," her mother said, then went back to the paper.

"Yeah, and she didn't say anything," Lee added. "Maybe she went out to buy some medicine."

Edd raised his eyebrows and shrugged. Marie wasn't like him; she didn't seek out comfort and help every time she got the sniffles. She was probably fine and just didn't want to bother anyone with a menial problem.

Still, bringing up the subject made breakfast a little less appetizing. He thanked Ms. Kanker and headed out, hoping to get a hold of Marie that day. He needed to know she was alright after how strange she'd been acting lately.

Meanwhile, the girl in question was skulking around the drugstore, purposely avoiding a certain aisle and eye contact with fellow patrons. Every time she gathered enough strength to venture near Aisle 5A, she was thwarted by embarrassment as some elderly woman or man passed her by and her paranoia took over.

"May I help you?"

Marie jerked around with a small shout, then quickly covered her mouth and blushed. _What is wrong with me?_

"No, I'm okay," she answered the confused-looking pharmacist, who seemed to be reading her thoughts. She was, after all, standing right at the entrance of the all-too-blatant aisle full of contraceptives. Normally, she had no problem coming here and buying condoms; actually, it made her feel sort of proud. Anyone who looked at her funny was probably just jealous that they weren't getting any.

Today, though, she was here for a different reason. She was here to find out if these many purchases of the past had been to no avail.

She and Edd had only gone without protection once or twice, and that was a couple of months ago. Getting another pregnancy test was nothing but a precaution, she told herself.

Finally, after a deep breath, Marie strolled through the aisle and stopped nonchalantly before the rack of pregnancy tests. She already had one at home, but after reading the label that morning she found out that a stored one could stop working. Also, what if the test was inaccurate? She decided three was a safe number and picked out the most convincing one within her price range.

Marie let out an annoyed sigh when she peeked around the corner to see a man behind the register. _Of course_.

Her heart pounded as each of the three tests passed over the scanner. _Beep. Beep._

"That'll be 19.48."

Marie sighed as she rummaged through her change purse. "F*cking gip." She handed him a twenty and looked away, not wanting to see the smirk of superiority she imagined on his face.

The walk home was unsatisfyingly short. She wanted to have a long time to think about this, to mull it over without prying eyes. When she arrived at the trailer park entrance, she stopped for a moment to contemplate how exactly she would hide this. Her mother was very perceptive.

The late autumn air bit at her cheeks, and she watched little puffs of cloud fade before her as she breathed nervously. By the end of the day, she would know the answer to a question that ate at her more than anything had before. The thought almost made her turn around and start walking again, just to calm her thudding heart.

Still, warmth sounded like the best option. Her feet carried her toward home, and to her emmense relief the living room was empty.

Not wanting to call attention to her arrival, Marie slipped silently through the house and locked herself in the bathroom. She could hear that someone was home, clanging around in the kitchen. She could only hope that no one would disturb her now.

After scanning the instructions on one of the tests, Marie took a deep breath and tore open the box.

Not wanting to waste any time, Marie decided to knock out two of them at once, grateful for the lock they'd recently installed on the door. If anyone were to walk in, it would be pretty obvious what she was doing. Probably looked a sight, to boot.

The two to five minutes she had to wait felt like hours. She paced as the seconds ticked by, anticipating a knock on the door at any time. What could she say if her mother asked her what she was doing in there for so long? Marie may have been a more convincing liar than most (especially her boyfriend), but it was hard to get anything past her mom. The woman knew her too well.

Finally, three minutes had gone by and she ventured a look. Neither of the tests showed a sign yet. She sighed and tried to take calming breaths, praying for a horizontal line on at least one of them.

Five minutes. One test was positive, the other still deciding.

Marie felt tears stinging behind her eyes. She tried hard to convince herself the positive test was wrong, but deep inside she knew it wasn't. She felt nausea stirring within her, this time for a different reason. She pushed the test into the trash can, then glanced back and saw that the other one was marked with a blue plus sign as well.

Tears spilled down her cheeks. Denial was no longer an option. She was pregnant.

"F*ck," she whispered, then dropped to the floor. "No, no, no... Oh, no..." She sobbed, overcome by a sudden feeling of loneliness. She wanted someone to comfort her but knew there was no way to seek it without giving herself away. At the same time, she knew the secret would get out eventually. It would be hard to hide a giant belly for the next several months.

_What do I do?_ she thought miserably, the question repeating itself over and over. _How am I going to tell Mom? Shit, how am I going to tell Edd_?

The thought hit her even harder. How was Edd going to handle this? It was his baby too, but he wasn't the one who had to bring it into the world. Would he stick around or not? She trusted him, but not his parents. He kissed their asses already, so wasn't it possible that they could convince him to leave her with the burden?

Marie shook her head back and forth to rid her mind of such thoughts. Her heart hurt and thinking poorly about Edd wasn't helping.

Soon she realized she was breaking and decided to stand up. Crying on the floor wouldn't solve anything; she needed to think rationally.

Another quick glance at the second test filled her with sudden anger. She slammed it onto the floor and stomped on it before throwing it away.

"GAAH!" Marie shouted in surprise when she opened the door to find her mother, fist poised as if about to knock.

"Marie," she said, recovering from the startle herself. "When did you get home? Are you all right?" She looked concerned, worry wrinkles permeating her face. "Eddward told me you were sick."

Marie searched for an answer, already past letting the secret slip. She felt the need to keep it for a while longer, until she was ready to tell her. "I'm fine," she lied. "It's probably just a virus. You know, like a stomach bug. I feel a lot better now."

Her mother didn't look at all convinced. She was blocking the doorway, arms crossed. Despite her strict stance, however, her forehead remained crinkled with worry.

Marie visibly paled and her heart sank when she saw her mother's eyes trailing. The third pregnancy test she'd bought still sat on the countertop, sticking out of the drugstore bag. She'd forgotten all about it.

"What is that?"

Marie bit her lip and closed her eyes. She would have had the confidence to explain, just like she'd planned before with the original test, if only they'd come back negative. Knowing she was already over the line filled her with too much fear to give a real response. She simply hung her head and moved aside as her mother shoved by and yanked the test off the counter.

"Young lady, why do you have this? I want the truth!" On the last word, she slammed the item on the counter, making Marie flinch.

"I-It's... I mean, it's just for good measure, you know?"

Ms. Kanker immediately sighed and shook her head. "If you thought you were pregnant, you should have come and talked to me. I'm not angry, okay?" She placed a hand on Marie's shoulder, setting the test back down. "I'm sorry, I'm just a little surprised. That's all."

Marie could feel the words coming up until she was eating them: _Mom, I don't think I'm pregnant. I_know_I am._

Instead of confessing, she nodded, looking ashamed for a different reason than her mother suspected. Her feet carried her to her room and she fell onto the bed, sobbing. She couldn't look her mother in the eye. Her world was spinning faster than she could control. Exhaustion washed over her as she cursed herself and her irresponsibility. How could this have happened?

That night, the food she ate tasted like sand. She avoided eye contact and resisted the urge to bring the subject back up. Her mother looked thoughtful as well, probably still wondering and denying like Marie had been for the past couple of weeks. After dinner, she watched TV in the living room with Lee and May to avoid suspicion.

She pretended to watch some game show while her mind was wandering. Her mother had left to work the night shift but surprisingly she didn't feel less scrutinized. It didn't take long for Lee to notice how quiet her younger sister was being, and she took a seat beside her to ask what was wrong.

"Hey, Marie," she said quietly, trying not to let May hear. She was only two years younger than Lee herself, but something told her it would be best for her to stay out of the conversation for now. She may not have been mature enough to handle it. Marie's face and drawn-up knees told her this.

"Hey," Marie sighed.

"You sure are quiet tonight," she observed, making sure Marie knew she wasn't getting away from an explanation. "Problems with the boyfriend?"

May snickered from her spot on the floor.

Marie groaned. "You could say that," she answered, surprising herself. She knew she was on her way to telling Lee the truth. Why? She had always been able to look up to her older sister and come to her with her problems, knowing the consequences would be less dire than if she told her mother. Even this secret seemed safer with Lee and even May than anyone else. As she debated whether or not to spill it, she hoped she could trust them to keep it from their mother until she was ready.

"Hmm," Lee hummed in thought, leaning back on the couch. "Problems in bed?" She snorted.

"SHUT THE F*CK UP!"

Lee held up her hands, leaning to the side. "Whoa, shit! Relax!"

From the floor, May had turned to give Marie a surprised look. She might have been short-tempered, but an outburst like this meant trouble and there was no getting around it now.

The television clicked off. Lee was giving her sister a stern look, boring through her with quizzical, suspicious eyes.

Marie wiped angry tears from her face, breathing hard. "You guys have to promise me you won't tell mom what I'm about to tell you," she said shakily. Neither of them responded. "Promise!"

May nodded. Lee seemed to think for a moment, then she agreed as well. "Cross my heart."

Marie's lip quivered and she covered her face once again. "I'm pregnant."

The room was completely silent. Lee's eyes went wide with surprise and her jaw dropped; she shared a shocked gape with May before turning back to Marie. "Are you serious?" she hissed.

"YES!" Marie sobbed with anger, rubbing furiously at her eyes. "I-I don't know what to do... I just found out today, but I've kind of been thinking I was for a while now... I missed my period this month, and I've been puking and getting all these weird feelings... and the test came out positive... I just... I can't tell Mom, and... I don't... I don't know how to tell Double D..."

"He's the father, right?"

"DUH! Who else would it be, May? Just shut the f*ck up if you don't want to take this seriously!" She threw a pillow at her before covering her face again.

Marie gave herself up to a slightly awkward embrace from Lee, who brushed her hair back and shushed her. "It's okay," she said. "We'll get you through this, all right? Just calm down."

Marie moaned, clutching her sister's sleeves. "I can't do this," she sobbed. "I just can't..."

May joined the hug, leaning her head against Marie's heaving back. "Yes you can. We're here for you."

"I don't know." Marie's voice was muffled.

Suddenly she felt as if she were betraying her own situation by allowing the support of her family to comfort her so much. "I'm having a baby," she whispered. "Oh man, I'm having a baby."

A long period of silence followed. Marie calmed quickly, surrounded by warmth.

"When you going to tell Mom?" Lee asked, gently pushing Marie away.

She sighed and dug at her eyes. "No idea. She actually saw one of my pregnancy tests today, but it wasn't open yet and she assumed it was just in case. I- I had to let her go with it. I was too scared..."

"You have to tell Double D too, you know."

Marie groaned. "I know. I know. Shit..."

"Better do it soon," Lee advised. Marie simply scratched her head, not wanting to acknowledge how right she was.

Lee looked at her watch, then sighed. "I'll bet he's still awake right now."

Marie coughed out a humorless laugh. "You're kidding."

She was looking at a serious face. On her other side, May stared at her hands. No one knew what to say.

"I'm going to wait," she said with a defensive tone. "And you two had better keep your traps shut, especially around Edd. Got it?"

In bed later on, she turned on her neglected cell phone and saw that Edd had left her numerous messages. He was probably still worried about her because of the night before. She pulled the covers up over her ears and sighed audibly. Guilt nagged at her for not returning his calls and easing his mind, but if she had she would have either lied or made him even more afraid. Her mind buzzed with his possible reactions to the news. She could already see the color drain from his face, his light brown eyes widen with fear. She wondered if he would get angry, get upset, stop talking to her, or maybe even understand immediately.

Even this thought couldn't ease her mind, which was already spinning. Without realizing what she was doing, she dialed his number and listened to the quiet ring.

There was no answer, so she whispered, "Hey, cutie pie. Sorry I missed your messages. I've just..."

"Hello?"

Marie was cut off by a groggy voice. "Double D?"

"Marie? Is that you? What time is it?"

She felt guilty for waking him up after midnight, but at least she could put his mind at ease for a while. "Not important."

He yawned on the other end, making her do the same. It wouldn't have been the first time they stayed up too late on the phone, but Edd knew it wasn't normal for her to call him at this hour. She knew he needed his rest.

"Is something wrong? Are you feeling any better? Did you buy some medicine?"

She couldn't help but smile around her worries at his concern. "I'm okay," she heard herself say. "I've just been resting today and stuff."

"Oh. Well, all right then."

She could tell he wanted to hang up, so she quickly added, "Hey, Double D... Listen, would you mind if I come over tomorrow?"

He was silent for a moment. "Tomorrow... um... okay. Sure, sure, that's fine. After school then?"

She heard him yawn again. "Yeah."

There was another pause. "Are you sure everything's okay?"

Marie felt her heart swarm inside her. "No," she answered, tearing up for the third time that day.

"What? What's wrong?"

Just like with her mother, Marie could feel the words pushing to emerge. Again, she stopped herself, realizing Edd deserved to hear it in person and not over the phone.

"It's - I'll tell you tomorrow. Go to sleep."

"F'you say so," he yawned again, too tired to debate with her or pull her secret out. "Love you."

Marie squeezed her eyes shut. "I love you."

He hung up, and she listened to the dial tone afterwards, regretting having called him at all.


	4. Relief

The Wild One

~Chapter 4~

(**Relief**)

The morning arrived faster than Edd would have liked.

Yawning widely, he slipped out of bed and automatically turned around to smooth over the sheets. It took a few moments for him to remember Marie's call several hours ago; he looked up when the phone caught the corner of his eye, wondering whether he should return it now or wait to see her at school. They only had one or two classes together, but they always managed to meet up for some PDA before her lunch time.

Edd's mind buzzed about what she'd said. He couldn't remember the last time she'd answered honestly to a question like "Is everything okay?". Normally, she'd say yes even if a problem was evident. Knowing this left an unsettling feeling in his stomach. A pang of paranoia told him she was rethinking their relationship…

No matter how hard he tried, Edd couldn't let the thought go. Even as he walked to school with his friends, his mind constantly wandered back to an imagined scenario in which Marie handed him back the promise ring, telling him she wasn't ready, or told him they should take a break, a serious look clouding her eyes as she wrote him off. His heart pounded with fear; it had never been broken before, and foreseeing such an event was like wondering how it felt to be boiled alive.

"Sockhead, I was talking to you."

"Oh, um…" Edd wracked his brain to remember what he'd just heard.

Eddy sighed and relieved him of the responsibility: "Why are you so _quiet_, I said!"

"Oh… well, um… ah…"

Eddy interrupted him with, "Everything go okay Saturday?"

Edd let out a puff of breath, wondering if his worries were that obvious. "Sure, we had a good time."

He smiled at the duet of catcalls, but then remembered his real dilemma. There was no point in keeping it a secret, so he said softly, "I mean, Saturday night went fine… but Marie wasn't feeling too well. She didn't seem upset with me or anything, but still… last night, she called me and she just didn't sound right."

Eddy frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, she said she wanted to talk with me, and when I asked her if anything was the matter… she said _yes_."

Even his perpetually single friends seemed to catch on that this was abnormal. "She never admits when there's something wrong," he continued. "I'm just really worried. I keep thinking… Eddy, what if she wants to break up with me?"

He heard a sigh from beside him. "Come on, man, don't be stupid. Marie's crazy for you."

"I hope you're right."

There were a few moments of silence before Eddy scoffed and said, "Women. Who can figure 'em?"

Edd managed another smile. "I certainly can't."

"Yeah, and who needs 'em, anyway? You'll still have us." He elbowed Edd so that he nearly slammed into their other friend.

As he stopped Edd from falling, Ed said, "You don't need anyone but us, Double D."

Edd thought for a while, unable to relax his furrowed brow. That used to be true, but his feelings for Marie were too strong to be placated by anything but her. Even his friends couldn't ease his mind today.

When they reached the school building, Edd expected to find his girlfriend waiting for him like she normally was. However, the spot where she often stood was empty and her blue hair was nowhere to be seen as he scanned the crowd of students. Her absence was like a bad omen, and he turned to his friends with a lost expression.

"Where is she?" he whispered.

Eddy pulled him by the arm toward the door. "You said she didn't feel good, right? Maybe she stayed home. Shit, relax."

Edd felt his stomach sink. He'd hoped to talk to her, to at least make sure there was no danger, before going home. Now he would have to wait for the school day to end, and the seconds were already ticking by much too slowly.

As he'd originally suspected (but naturally denied), Marie was not at school at all. He'd been accosted by her sisters between periods and was surprised to notice that they too carried a strange aura of seriousness. They told him she'd stayed home sick and that they had a message to pass on to him.

"Is she still coming to see me today?" he asked hopefully. May and Lee simply shrugged.

"She said to tell you she loves you, that's all," Lee told him.

Edd blinked, wondering what to make of this. It was as if she'd suddenly become her own foil; acting secretive, calling him out of sleep, avoiding him, making sure he knew she loved him – "Oh… So, then, she doesn't want to break up?"

The two girls went wide-eyed and shared a look before suddenly barraging him with protests.

"FUCK no!" Lee shouted, gaining a few curious looks. She lowered her voice and said, "Don't even think about that, now or ever. Got it?"

Again, he was left confused and starved for answers (not to mention startled and intimidated). He didn't know how to feel about Lee's comment; it did ease some of his fears, but piled on a few more as well. Her tone spoke more than her strange words, but he didn't know what it was trying to tell him.

"Marie…" he whispered her name inaudibly, face drawn up in worry. _Just what exactly is going on?_

The rest of the day seemed to drag on and fluctuate between distraction by academia and distraction by love. His stomach was in knots by the time the final bell rang, and he walked home on legs made of rubber. He hardly registered consolations and encouragements from his friends as he wished over and over that Marie still knew where he kept his spare key.

He opened the door half expecting to see her standing there, but the house was empty.

"No…"

_Calm down, Eddward, calm down. She's probably still at home, getting ready to leave. Perhaps she's awaiting a call…!_

With this thought, Edd hurried toward the phone and speed-dialed her.

Marie picked up after the first ring, hoping not to sound too shaky when she said, "Hello?"

"Marie? Is that you? How are you? I'm home, you can come over now… Are you okay, by the way? Hello?"

Through her tears, Marie managed to laugh a bit at his nervous mannerisms. "Hey, Double D," she said. "Sure, I'll come over soon. Just give me a minute."

She hung up before he could reply, knowing she'd give away her sadness if she kept talking to him. All day long she had practiced telling him without crying and never succeeded.

As she splashed warm water on her face, Marie wondered if telling him today would be the right decision. She didn't feel ready in the slightest, but knew she'd set him up for something serious. Would it be worth the trouble to lie again? Could she simply swear her sisters to silence and…. terminate it?

Immediately, this felt like a bad idea. She couldn't even look at him anymore if she harbored that kind of secret, and besides – it wasn't her burden alone. Edd would have to be part of the decision, whatever it may be.

Her insides stirred as she headed for Edd's house; she'd been bearing that same strange feeling for a while now, as if she could feel the life within her. She prayed for strength, biting back tears with full force and nearly blind to her surroundings.

Marie crept around the back way, staying out of view. On the back patio, her heavy footsteps faded to a halt, as did her fist before the door. Was it too late? Did she still have time to turn back…?

Suddenly she heard thumping sounds and Edd's voice shouting, "Marie!"

He looked winded from running as he slid the door open, seeming to have appeared out of nowhere. Silently cursing himself for acting so desperate, he regained his composure a little and let her inside, saying, "I'm so glad you came over. I've been waiting to talk to you."

They entered the living room and she glanced around, taking in her surroundings. She didn't visit Edd's house all that often, and when she did they normally stayed upstairs the entire time. She had actually never entered through the back before – she'd noticed a kitchen lined with sticky notes and there were a few here and there in the living room as well. Other than the yellow pieces of paper, the whole area was spotless and glossy. Unconsciously, she placed her hand on her belly, feeling a little out of place.

"Marie?"

At the sound of Edd's worried voice, she turned to face him. He was holding out his hand, and she took it. Her palms were sweaty and her fingers shook as they attempted to wrap around his. She was too afraid to tell him what she was here to say, but knew it was unavoidable. They sat on a leather couch and Edd awkwardly draped an arm over her shoulder. Even this sweet gesture couldn't ease the worry that pervaded her mind.

At the same time, Edd's brain was wracked with unhappy possibilities. What if the reason she'd been so sick was that there was something wrong with her? What if she came over to tell him she was terminally ill? What if her sisters were wrong and she really did want to end their relationship?

"Marie, you can tell me anything," he said softly, dismissing his thoughts as absurd and pointless. "I know there's something wrong, so won't you just tell me? Won't you just talk to me so I can help you?"

She leaned into his hand stroking her hair. "I don't deserve you," she said suddenly.

Edd's heart contracted at this statement. He feared her next statement, but still urged her on: "Yes, you do. Don't say that. Now what's really the matter?"

The words pushed against her teeth, but she remained silent, wondering what would happen when she said them. "Marie?"

"I'm pregnant…"

Once the words were out, she knew it was too late to go back. At that very moment, everything seemed to change. Edd's face showed that the admission still hadn't hit him; he simply lowered his eyes and stared at the other end of the couch, taking the news slowly.

"Edd, I'm so sorry," she choked.

He dropped her hand and touched his head as if it hurt. His lips seemed to mouth the word: "Pregnant?"

For nearly five minutes, silence took over the room. Marie's hands were resting on her belly; it felt much bigger than she remembered. Without Edd's touch, she felt scared and alone, cold. She felt like she'd give anything to have him hold her hand again, even if it was only for a moment.

"Don't… don't be sorry," he finally said, looking up at her. His face looked pale. "I mean… it's both of us. It's not your fault."

She swallowed. "I just – I just didn't know what to do. I had to tell you… I'm just… I'm so scared…"

Edd reached out for her and she leaned into his embrace. His lips pressed against her head and she sobbed hard into his shirt.

"It's okay, Marie, it's okay," he whispered. "It's still soon. We'll figure this out."

She nodded, more reassured by those simple words than anything. His hug felt warm and real, relieving her former fears of his reaction. She should have known he would think of her first and understand. Now her anxiety had been replaced by a gnawing sense of guilt; she couldn't shake the feeling that this baby would destroy all of Edd's potential. No matter what happened, it had been conceived and that was all it took to shake their foundation forever.

"Does anyone else know?" Edd asked.

"Just my sisters."

He nodded, still not quite sure how to take her declaration. Pregnancy was certainly better than deathly illness, and he felt selfish for preferring it over a breakup as well. As he held her close, a plethora of possibilities ran though his mind. Would they put the baby up for adoption? Would a family member help? Would Marie want to get an abortion? Would they raise the baby themselves?

One nagging question seemed to resound above the rest: What would his parents say?

He caught a glimpse of a flock of sticky notes near the front door. Every now and then, he would find one along the lines of: "Are you still seeing that Mary girl?" or "Eddward, try to focus more on your future and less on that girlfriend of yours." He almost laughed insanely at how things had turned out. All along, he dismissed their strict commands, assuring them (or at least pretending to assure them) that he knew exactly what he was doing.

While his mind was on the subject, he asked, "So your mother doesn't know?"

Marie pulled away slowly, shaking her head. Edd kissed her unexpectedly, still admittedly relieved that she wasn't dumping him.

They shared another hug, Marie squeezing him hard. "I never thought this would happen."

"Neither did I," Edd replied. "How long have you known?"

"Just like, two days," Marie sniffled. "But, I mean, my period's been late for a long time. I think I might be a few weeks along."

Edd stroked her hair gently. "Stop crying," he breathed. "We'll get through this. It's not impossible."

She nodded, then looked down at herself. "I'm going to be so fat."

This earned a tension-breaking laugh from both of them, then another soft kiss. "You'll be beautiful."

"My pants already don't fit anymore," she continued. "I'm popping out of all my bras, too."

Edd blushed. "I'm not complaining," he said after deliberating it for a while.

Marie shoved him playfully. "I was really scared of telling you," she admitted, "but now I'm kind of glad I did. How do you always make me feel better?"

Edd shrugged, unwilling to add that he was extremely terrified at the moment. It wasn't often that he had to "man up" for Marie. He slowly rubbed his hand up and down her stomach, then said, "That's my baby in there…"

"Mmm-hmm."

He paused for a moment. "That _is_ my baby, right?"

"Oh my God, shut up!" Marie laughed and socked him on the arm. He waited until her head was low again to wince.

With each passing moment, Marie felt safer. She leaned up and kissed him on the mouth and then, when their lips were inches apart, she asked, "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know."

"But we'll get through this, right?"

"Of course."

"You don't sound sure."

"I am."

There was a long pause. Marie took a breath, then said, "Will come with me to tell my mom?"

Edd pressed his lips against her head. "Of course. I won't make you do this alone."

She thumbed his hand as it held hers. For a moment, she feared her mother would do something crazy like forbid them to be together. Edd may have loved her, but he was spineless as far as she could tell. This was especially true when it came to her mother, an intimidating woman who radiated stubbornness and suspicion. What would happen if he was faced with that sort of parental authority?

Marie shook the thought from her head. She was prepared to rebel if it meant staying with Edd, and she wasn't about to lose faith in him.

"Can we go tell her?" she asked, feeling she'd never be able to leave his embrace if she stayed any longer.

Edd's face paled. "You mean now?"

Sighing, she squeezed his arm and pulled him to his feet. "Come on."

She dragged him through his back door, leaving it open, into the sparse trees behind his house, over the thin creek, over the crunching leaves, drowning out the sound of their labored breathing and their heartbeats in their ears. "Don't puss this up," she commanded.

All the while, Edd processed the news in his head. Slowly, he began to feel the weight of the situation. This was something he had feared, something he had tried to prevent, something that would change both of their lives… something for which he would never be forgiven by _them_.

Marie's voice returned him to reality as they stood before the trailer. "She's not home."

Despite his immediate relief, Edd could feel the impending weight adding to his anxiety. Marie tugged his arm and he followed her inside, hoping the added time would at least help him build up the strength he needed. Taking deep breaths, he followed Marie inside, unsuccessfully willing his legs not to shake.

"There's the happy couple," came May's voice from the living room. Edd swallowed and glanced at Marie, who squeezed his hand.

"They know, remember?" she said. "It's all good. They're not mad at you or anything."

Somehow, this really was what Edd needed to hear. He could suddenly feel the pressure of Marie's protectors. It wasn't always obvious, but she _was_, after all, a girl. A girl with sisters and a mother who had her divided amongst themselves, their hearts. He was only allowed a small piece of their treasure, and he couldn't help but feel he'd violated the trust he'd gained with her family.

"I have to use the bathroom," Marie said, pulling her hand from Edd's. "Just go wait in the living room. I'll be out there soon, kay?"

"You're sending me into the proverbial lion's den, Marie," he said quietly.

She shook her head, smiling. "I love you," she sighed, "but you are _such_ a pussy. And an idiot." With a chaste kiss, she sent him away.

Edd stood motionless for just a moment. The weight of which she had been relieved now rested on him. Soon, he would be relinquishing it to her mother, a woman he respected more than his own parents. The guilt stirred within him for a long while before he turned and headed through the kitchen door.

Lee and May were sitting on the couch when he entered. Two pairs of eyes followed him as he lowered himself into the easy chair he usually shared with Marie. The two girls glanced at each other; they looked as if they'd just stopped talking about him, blushes fading from their cheeks. With a deep breath, Lee turned away from him and concentrated on painting her toenails. May simply bit her lip to hide a smirk and pretended to watch TV.

A few minutes went by and Edd was still alone. The silence had begun to pick at him, a bad itch he couldn't satisfy.

"So you knocked up our sister."

The declaration came from Lee, who chose not to make eye contact _thank heaven._

Edd cracked his knuckles nervously, looking for something to focus on, anything. "Yes," he answered timidly. "I-I'm so sorry."

"Sorry's not going to change things," she said.

"I know, I… Well, I just…"

May glanced at Edd before saying, "Lee, quit giving him a hard time. I mean, what's he supposed to say?"

"Yeah, you're right. Guess it could happen to anyone. Even Double D." She snickered.

Edd wasn't sure whether these comments were mean-spirited or joking, but he sank into the chair with shame nonetheless. _What am I doing here?_

Just then, Marie entered the room, filling his heart with relief. She settled onto his lap and he wrapped his arms around her, wishing for a better way to communicate how glad he was for her presence.

"I hope you guys are being nice," she said to the girls beside them.

Lee smirked and waved her hand back and forth in front of her toes, ignoring the question.

"What's your mom going to say?" Edd asked.

This got their attention. Lee and May exchanged scandalous looks, then May said, "You guys are telling Mom? Is that why you're here?"

"Well, she has to find out sometime," Marie barked. "I need Double D here for support. And he's in on this too, in case you haven't noticed."

"Just don't piss your pants," Lee told Edd, leaning back with a grin.

May snorted and Marie shot them both a glare. "This is serious, you guys," she warned. "We're all in this together, whether you like it or not."

"Think we don't know that?" Lee asked, still avoiding eye contact.

Marie leaned her head on Edd's shoulder and rubbed his hand. "I need you," she whispered, and the statement was directed to everyone, not just Edd. "I just… could really use some support right now."

The silence that followed gave all of them time to assess the situation. Finally, Lee said, "I was just messing around, you know."

Edd smiled. "I know that."

"Hey, if Marie's having anyone's lovechild… I'm glad it's yours."

"Me too," May piped up.

"You guys," Marie sighed, again grateful for the temporary solace of family and her boyfriend.

As the next few hours passed, the tension gradually faded from the room. Edd's arms were wrapped around Marie's waist as they snuggled on the chair, watching TV. It felt like any other night until the headlights washed over them, signaling the arrival of Ms. Kanker.

Just as promised, May and Lee remained where they were, nodding to them as if to say they were ready for the impending drama. Edd's heart jumped as the door clicked open, and he squeezed Marie closer to breathe in her scent of cigarettes, deodorant, and new car smell, hoping the familiarity would instigate some sense of calm.

"I'm home, girls," called their oblivious mother.

"Hey, Mom," Marie called out. Edd listened as keys jangled, a coat hit the counter, the refrigerator door opened. _So much stalling…_

She entered the room and didn't look too surprised to see Edd there, though she seemed a bit taken aback by his expression of unrelenting fear.

"Oh, hi," she said, taking her usual seat in the chair across from theirs. Edd heard the familiar sound of a beer opening; his eyes were averted with nervousness. "How's everyone doing?" Her question seemed mainly directed at Marie.

Edd squeezed her hand, urging her forward. His fear could not overwhelm his sense of duty, and a big part of him hoped he would have as much strength as Marie did when he told his own parents the news.

"Hey, May, could you turn the TV off real quick?" Marie asked. Her voice sounded shaky, and Edd wasn't used to seeing her this way. All he wanted to do was kiss her, but he knew that would not be wise at the moment. Ms. Kanker was looking at them both with a quizzical expression.

As soon as the set was off, Marie said to her mother, "Hey, Mom, I have to talk to you about something." As she began to rise, Marie said, "I mean, here. I have to confess something… to you."

"Well, what is it?" She looked uneasy as she set her beer can onto the coffee table. "Marie, what's going on?"

Briefly, Edd looked into his girlfriend's eyes. She looked afraid but determined. He straightened up and held her hand, glancing from the floor to her mother's eyes. He had inadvertently taken on a protective stance, ready to stand beside Marie's declaration.

"I'm pregnant."

Edd did not break his gaze. He saw her shoulders deflate as she leaned forward. She blinked in surprise, processing what she'd just heard. "_What?_"

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you before," she said, unable to hold back her anxiety and emotion. "Mom, I… I was just too scared to tell you, because I didn't know what you'd think of me."

Edd pulled her into a hug, hoping it didn't exacerbate whatever Ms. Kanker might have been feeling toward him at the moment.

"Marie, I'm very disappointed. I thought you knew better." Her eyes darted at Edd, who flinched visibly. "Eddward, I thought you knew better as well. I'm _very_ upset."

Suddenly Edd felt as if he were intruding on something between only the Kankers. He shifted a bit, holding onto Marie, his lifeline to the outside world.

"I'm so sorry…" Edd said for the second time that day. "We didn't mean for this to happen."

"Well, of course you didn't, but it's happened already! It's too late, Eddward. It's too late for apologies or anything else!" He was shocked to see tears line her eyes. "I think it would be best if you left." The quiet tone of her voice was about a hundred times more intimidating than the yelling.

Edd moved to push Marie away, but she clung to him.

"You heard me, Eddward. I need to speak with my daughter." When he still didn't leave, she shouted, "NOW! RIGHT NOW!"

Marie finally let go and Edd hugged her and kissed her as fast as he could, then whispered, "Marie, I…"

"I know."

Though he'd worked to make his exit seem as little like an escape as possible, Edd rushed past Ms. Kanker and out the door, frantically running away from the scene.

Once the room was devoid of his presence, Ms. Kanker focused solely on Marie. "Young lady, this is the worst thing you've ever done."

Marie felt tears pouring down her face. "We were careful," she sobbed. "Mom, we really were. Like it's so weird for us to have sex? I mean, we've been dating all this time, and… and…" As her mother's gaze penetrated her, she lost her reason and voice. "I'm sorry…"

With a sigh, her mother stepped toward her and gathered her in an embrace. "Shhhhh," she whispered. "Marie, don't cry."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she kept saying, voice muffled by her mother's work uniform.

"Shhhh, shhh," Ms. Kanker repeated, rubbing her back. She let her own tears fall but hoped no one noticed. With a quick squeeze, she whispered "Oh, what were you thinking?"

Outside, leaves fell to the coercion of the brisk night air. Edd crunched through them, eyes wide open to the dark, hugging himself for the warmth he'd left behind.


	5. Trust

The Wild One

~Chapter 5~

**(Trust)**

"Marie's _pregnant?_"

Edd swallowed hard, then nodded. His friends were silent and wide-eyed for a moment, mouths agape. He'd found them both in Eddy's room on his way home from Marie's, and, hoping to take some of the weight off of his shoulders, had decided to tell them the news then and there.

"Congratulations!" Ed said, withdrawing once he noticed the other two weren't quite as excited as he was.

Edd groaned and covered his face. "What am I going to do? I-I just don't know how to handle this."

Eddy drew back, recovering from his initial shock. "Well, are you guys sure? Like, she took a test and everything?"

Edd nodded again, wishing his heart would stop pounding so hard. "It's for sure."

"Dang." Eddy raised his eyebrows and took a breath, wondering what to say. Nothing seemed appropriate at the moment, and he couldn't think of any words to make his friend feel better. Edd was whimpering and leaning against Ed, looking completely helpless.

"Don't cry, Double D," Ed spoke softly. "A baby's a good thing."

Edd groaned and pulled away. "No! I mean… well… It's different… It depends on the situation, you know? I – I just – We weren't planning this! We aren't ready for a child…" He shook his head, unable to form a coherent sentence at the time. Eddy placed a hand on his shoulder and rubbed gently, trying to calm him down. "Hang in there, Sockhead," he said. "You guys'll figure this out. And I know you might not want to hear this right now, but you know… you should just make the most of it, 'cause it's happening."

Edd drew in a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "I just can't believe this. We were so careful, this shouldn't be!"

"Well, is she on birth control?"

Edd thought for a moment. "No, not that I know of. But we always used – protection. Always. Well, I mean, a couple of months ago, we… but, there's no way she's that far along. I just don't know how this happened."

Still absent for comforting words, Eddy scratched his head and sighed. "Man, I'm just really sorry. But listen, it's not so bad once you think about it. You could always just give it up for adoption or something, right? Or, I mean… how far along is she?"

Edd shrugged. "Just a couple weeks."

"So, have you guys thought about…" He trailed off on purpose, not sure what Edd's stance was on the issue and not wanting to break his already fragile friend with the word.

"We still haven't discussed our options," Edd mumbled. "She only told me this evening, and then… well, we just told her mother."

Eddy leaned forward, trying to imagine the situation. "Aw, snap. What'd she say?"

"She was really upset with both of us... and I've never seen her explode like that before."

If it was possible for Eddy's eyebrows to go up further, they did at that moment. "Oh, man. Well, what about your parents? Have you told them yet?"

Edd's response was louder and angrier than he'd planned. "NO!" His friends exchanged glances, then the room was awkwardly silent for a good minute or two. "I'm sorry," he breathed. "I just don't know how to feel right now. Today's been so…"

"All right, Sockhead, relax."

Ed piped up with, "But babies are soft and cuddly, Double D! You should be happy."

Though Ed did have a point, the circumstances changed things. Edd wanted a family, a wife, children, but was now the right time? They weren't even out of high school yet, weren't even adults in the law's eyes. It was inconceivable for Edd to be a father, for Marie to be a mother.

He wrapped his arms around Ed, simply needing the touch. "I'm trying," he whispered. "I want this to work out, but it's just not the same… It's complicated."

Eddy rubbed his back awkwardly. "I know what you mean," he offered. "If there's anything we can do, just say the word."

Ed nodded. "Yeah, we're here for you, Double D. We'll be the baby's uncles."

Edd smiled in spite of himself, but didn't feel much better about the situation. "Thanks."

That night, he had too much on his mind to get to sleep. Though the day had been exhausting, he was wide awake and couldn't stop tossing and turning in his cold bed. Often at night, he would think about Marie to make himself relax; tonight, though, the circumstances were quite different and nothing could quell his worry and longing to be with her. He missed her warmth and her scent, and the way she made his heart bang against his chest just by being close. He wanted to sleep with his hand on her belly and feel the stirring inside her, even though at this stage it was only imagined.

As the minutes and hours ticked by, he fluctuated between excitement and utter apprehension. When he finally did drift away, his mind was still on Marie, her face haunting him instead of comforting him, and the day replayed like a broken tape in his mind, dripping with exhausted surrealism and trepidation.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

When morning came, Edd was disappointed but not surprised to see that Marie wasn't waiting for him. He crept to the trailer park on his way to school, but didn't see any movement that would suggest her departure.

"What if Mom won't let her see me anymore?" Edd wondered aloud, dragging his feet alongside Ed and Eddy as they stepped out of the trees and back onto the sidewalk.

"I doubt it," Eddy mused. "She's no psycho like _your_ mother… no offense. Still, I'd hold off on the whole 'Mom' thing for a while." For the past year or so, Ms. Kanker had insisted that Edd call her "Mom" instead of "Ms. Kanker," though it had taken him a while to get used to the informality. Now, any bond the two had built felt more unstable than ever. He felt that he'd destroyed the closest thing he had to a real family just when things were getting good.

Edd frowned, wishing his mind would settle on a coherent thought instead of buzzing like a beehive on a sugar rush. "Yes, I suppose I'll try to be careful with my words next time I see her." He paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "I wonder if Marie will want to see me at all."

Ed nudged him gently. "Don't be silly, Double D. She loves you."

"But I ruined her life."

Eddy sighed in frustration. "There's no getting through to you, is there? Look, just give it a couple days, would ya? She probably just needs some time. You both do."

He nodded, but didn't completely retain the advice. While he waited to patch things up with Marie and her family, each day would feel like a lifetime.

On Wednesday, he stood so long at the trailer park entrance that his friends left him behind. He was still standing there, waiting for Marie to miraculously appear, when he realized he was already ten minutes late for school. She hadn't been there the day before either, and no one would answer his calls. Her cell phone was perpetually off, probably confiscated by her mother. There were at least nine messages from him filling her inbox, making him seem only half as desperate to talk to her as he actually was.

At around eight thirty, he finally stepped away and headed for school, hoping to find her waiting for him outside the door or in front of his locker.

Just like on Monday, he ran into her sisters instead. This time, they simply made eye contact and went on their respective ways. Edd had decided after his last unsuccessful phone call to try and come off less pathetic. He didn't want any of them to know how scared he was; it would probably be easier to make amends with Marie and her mother if he showed that he was able to "man up" for her.

Wednesday became Thursday. Edd still hadn't caught a glimpse of Marie, but he'd gotten closer to her home to see if she was still there. His greatest fear was that Ms. Kanker had sent her to live with a relative or something, keeping her away from the public scorn.

"She's probably waiting for you to show up at her bedroom window and whisk her away," Eddy had told him Thursday night. "Chicks dig that kinda stuff, you know."

Edd mulled over this when he woke up early on Friday. His frustration was beginning to override his fear as he scrubbed his father's coffee pot and stared out at the dim morning. He could tell by the new sticky notes and the dirty dishes that he'd missed his parents the night before, missed his opportunity to tell them the news. What would happen if he called them at work? Even if by some miracle they were willing to answer his call, would it be appropriate to tell them over the phone?

At this rate, the kid would be in the third grade by the time his parents were home long enough to talk to him.

Setting the coffee pot in the sink and taking a breath, Edd glanced up at his reflection in the chilly window. "You can do this," he whispered. "You can do this."

Outside, the air was ice cold and the birds were just beginning to stir in song. Edd tucked his hands under his elbows for warmth as he cut through the woods, going the same way he'd gone countless times to visit Marie at the trailer. Seeing the Park 'n Flush sign only heightened his confidence, though he worried about the hour; Ms. Kanker would certainly be home and ready to thwart his plans. All he had to do was sneak to Marie's window as quietly as possible to avoid being spotted, and fortunately he made it there without interruption, rubbing his hands together before raising a fist to knock.

_Tap tap tap._

His heart sank a little at the lack of reply. However, he wasn't willing to give up after how long they'd gone without a single word.

_Tap Tap_. "Marie." _Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap._

Inside, the three girls slowly began to awaken. Over the past couple of nights, Marie had gotten too lonely without Edd and asked her sisters to stay with her for support; at the sound of another knock, she craned her neck to see Edd shivering outside the window and told Lee and May to stay put and butt out.

"Double D?" she whispered. He looked surprised and relieved to see her. The look on her face was more of guilt and concern, then fear as she gestured wildly for him to quiet down while he struggled to get the window open.

Marie unlatched and lifted the window, then whispered, "Meet me at the bench."

Immediately, he knew the one she meant. "No, you shouldn't be out in the cold like that…"

"Just shut up and go there."

He opened his mouth to speak again, but Marie had already lowered the window and disappeared.

Despite the circumstances, Edd couldn't help but smile as he waited for her at a park bench that meant a lot to their memories. Two years ago, this was where Marie had confessed her feelings to him and they'd finally struck up a relationship. Since then, they had marked it as their own, and Edd could only hope that this morning's conversation wouldn't taint its sentimentality.

After about ten minutes, Marie stepped up behind him and said, "Hey."

Edd didn't turn around; he bit his tongue, hoping to find the right words before he blurted out something stupid.

Marie lowered herself beside him and they were both silent for a while. The branches rustled as a cool breeze blew by, prompting Edd to wrap his arms around her and stop her from shivering. They stayed that way for a few minutes, Marie nuzzling her head against Edd's shoulder and closing her eyes.

"I suppose your mother's been keeping you from me."

Marie pushed her fingers between Edd's, holding his hand on her lap. "Kinda. Maybe I've been avoiding you on purpose."

Edd leaned his head against hers, breathing in the smell of shampoo and cheap vanilla body spray. "Why?" he whispered.

"I was scared. I didn't know what I could say to you."

"Did you know I wanted to see you?"

Marie shrugged, sniffing back tears. "I don't know. I was too nervous and stuff… F*ck, I don't know why I think anything anymore." She wiped a tear conspicuously from her face, then continued: "I'm just so f*cking confused. And it's f*cking freezing out here."

Edd stood up, holding his hand out to help her up.

"I'm not _that_ pregnant," Marie mumbled with a small smile as she hoisted herself from the bench, aided by Edd's tender hand.

"Come here," he whispered, and they hugged, silently melting away the cold that three days' separation had created. Edd tried to hold back his own tears, still sticking to the "man up" policy, as Marie squeezed him close and whimpered.

"Let's go to my house," he mumbled after a while. "We'll have some privacy there, at least. We need to talk about this."

Marie pulled away and wiped her eyes, nodding. "'Kay. Um… mom's going to go check on me in a minute and freak out 'cause I'm not there," she laughed through her tears. "Lemme just go back for a sec to tell Lee and May where I'm going. I'm sure my mom won't care." She paused, looking ashamed. "Actually, I'm pretty sure she wanted me to talk to you all this time. I'm sorry about what a wuss I am."

Edd kissed her softly. "Don't be sorry. I know you just needed time to think."

With a quick nod, she left him waiting for her once again. A lot of the tension was erased by their short conversation, though the gray day wasn't exactly a good omen. When Marie returned, Edd grasped her hand and thumbed it unconsciously as they crunched through the leaves, silently gathering their thoughts and hoping things would smooth out from then on.

After fumbling with his spare keys, Edd opened the door to his lonely but warm house. They exchanged a glance as if walking through the doorway was some colossal step forward. Still holding hands, the pair ended up on the couch and rested for a few moments before the heavy conversation began.

"So have you told your parents yet?" Marie asked, rubbing Edd's hands as they crossed over her belly.

"No," came his voice from behind her ear. He rested his chin on her shoulder, sighing in thought. "I want to, but I can't get a hold of them."

"Well, when was the last time you guys talked?"

He reflected for a second or two, then said, "I guess it was a few weeks ago." He squeezed her closer and mumbled, "Every time I get up enough strength to tell them, they're out of range."

"So you can't call them or anything?"

"I guess I could try."

Marie tilted her head back for a kiss, then said, "I'll be there when you tell them, since you came through for me. Okay?"

Edd smiled, feeling his face soften as if it had been frozen in a worried frown. "You're the best."

Suddenly, the air in the room changed as Marie guided Edd's hand across her stomach. She was already showing, already feeling the symptoms. Every time she tried to button her jeans (which today were fastened by a safety pin), every time she took a shower, every time she even thought about her state, the situation became more real. Alone with her thoughts for the past few days, she'd considered the possibilities but hadn't even begun to set her mind on the right one. Somehow, she already felt attached to the life growing within her, and she knew every choice would have its toll on this strange emotion. Edd had been too busy worrying to think of a solution, and he hoped she didn't expect him to solve this problem like he was known to do. For the first time, he felt completely empty of answers.

"What are we gonna do?" she whispered.

Closing his eyes, he thumbed her hands and replied, "I don't know."

"Well, you're no help." After a long pause, she said carefully, "You know, my mom offered to take me someplace where they can… um, take care of it. And stuff."

Edd felt his stomach churn as he absorbed her words. "Is that what you want?"

Her answer was a shrug. "She just doesn't want me to go through what she's gone through… like, raising us."

"Right. I guess… that makes sense." The statement had struck him as cruel, though. All his life, he'd felt unreasonably guilty for the burden he placed on his parents for being born unplanned. They had taken a different route than Ms. Kanker, marrying each other for the sake of a child they hardly cared to call their own. Edd knew what it was like to grow up in a loveless home and didn't wish that on his own child, but he also knew that the circumstances and the people involved were much different and therefore couldn't be blindly compared.

Neither of them were sure how to tackle the choice available. Edd, to be perfectly honest, had always been on the fence about the issue. He didn't like the idea of abortion but saw it as a reasonable last resort; still, he'd never taken a firm stance on either side, and he knew Marie was struggling with the situation on a much different plane. At the moment, something was tugging him away from the option. Now that he was considering the argument from such a personal standpoint, he felt utterly torn and wanted more than anything to avoid going through with it.

"It's your choice," he finally said, breaking the stabbing silence. "If you think it's best, then I can't stop you."

Marie felt a jolt of anger. "Double D, that's not an answer. I need to know your opinion on this, okay? That's why I'm talking to you about it and not just sneaking around you to do it myself."

"If I hadn't shown up at your house today, what would you have done, then? Do you think we'd still be having this conversation?"

He immediately regretted his words as Marie stood up and stormed away. She stopped at the sound of his desperate voice saying, "No, no, wait, Marie, I'm sorry! Okay, I'm sorry, can we just talk about this? I didn't mean to insinuate anything, I just…"

"Shut up, Double D." She turned around to face him, glaring and grateful to have her fear replaced by anger. "Is that really what you think of me? Do you really think I'd go and abort this kid without telling you?"

He shook his head, but the pause beforehand left her feeling unsettled. "I want a straight answer." Her voice shook and she pulled away from his touch as he reached out to take her hand. "All I want t know is whether we're considering it or not. I just want to rule out whatever needs to be ruled out so this'll get just a tiny speck easier, okay?"

Rather than giving in to the guilt he felt at seeing her crumble, he blurted out, "No, I don't want it, to be perfectly honest."

Marie laughed out loud. "Oh, thank God. Me neither."

"Well, why didn't you just say so? You know I would never force that on you." He smiled and pushed her bangs aside, heart thudding with reassurance.

"I know."

Once their least favorite option was out of the question, things seemed to come a little more easily. Marie had always hated people who identified as pro-life, but suddenly she could see where the discomfort came from. Over the past few days at home, she'd learned that her mother had an abortion when she was a teen. Marie was surprised to know that she still regretted it, and that she wanted her to think about it more than she had herself.

"I thought it was no big deal," she'd said. "I figured it was my only choice, other than taking care of the kid myself, and… well, my dad was drinking back then, so I knew the child wouldn't be happy in such an environment. Still, I had no idea how much it would haunt me through the years. I just want you to think about that while you make your decision, and remember that I'll support you and help you through it if that's what you choose. All I ask is that you think, okay?"

Marie blinked away tears as she remembered their conversation. Somehow, something about having this baby settled right with her, and she didn't want to go through with a termination.

"I suppose adoption is the alternative," Edd thought aloud. "I mean, if that's all right with you."

She swallowed and squeezed his hand, staring at the floor. "Yeah, sure. I guess. I mean, like, we'll think about it."

He nodded. "We'll give it some time. Okay?"

Marie leaned into his chest and hugged him, listening to his heart beat rapidly through his shirt. His hands moved across her back, soothing her, pressing her bare shoulder to him and kissing it. "It'll be all right," he whispered. "I just want what's best for you and the baby."

Wordlessly, they found themselves going upstairs and lying side by side in his bed, kissing and stroking each other's faces. Marie's hand kept traveling to her stomach unconsciously as she rested beside her boyfriend, trying to wrap her mind around what they'd gotten themselves into. Every time her mind relaxed, it didn't take long for her to jump back into a state of panic and confusion. Every touch from Edd's soft hands gave her a stir inside, and every word sent her hormones into a frenzy. Tears nagged at the back of her throat until she pressed her face against his shoulder and let a few escape.

"Do you want to give the baby up?" she asked in a muffled voice.

Brushing her hair with his fingers, he mumbled, "Yes." As soon as the word escaped his mouth, he knew it was a lie. He knew it was the most sensible choice, but his gut contracted with fear at the thought of handing his child to someone else. As his heart calmed, however, he convinced himself he'd get used to the idea and that doubting was natural but temporary.

"Fine."

His squeezed his eyes shut, kissing Marie's forehead. "It's for the best."

"Yep."

As the day progressed, they decided to call Edd's parents at work. Despite his many protests and explanations that they would never respond, Marie shoved the phone in his hands and sat on his lap so he couldn't get up.

"What are they gonna do, write you an extended letter? Come on, relax."

Edd's finger hovered above the number pad. "I'm not scared, you know. I'm just telling you this is pointless. They never answer me at work."

"Tell their secretary, then. She'll give it to them on a sticky pad or something."

Edd grinned in spite of himself. "Enough with the sticky notes."

Marie wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, feeling frisky for some reason. She rested her head on his shoulder, listening to the phone ring distantly and wondering what his parents' voices sounded like.

"Ah, h hello?" Edd stammered. "Y-yes, this is Eddward. Hi, Kelly… no, but I just wanted to… I'm fine. How are you? … Good. … Oh, yeah that's great, so listen… Oh, they're not available?" He gave Marie a shrug. "Well, could you tell them I need to speak with them? It's very important… Sure, I'd call it an emergency if that what it'll take for them to phone me for once."

Marie grinned and laughed into his sleeve. "Someone's getting testy."

"I'm sorry, please just tell them to call me and tell them it is extremely important. Extremely."

Once the call was over, he rubbed his temples in annoyance. "Sometimes I just can't believe those two."

Marie smiled sympathetically and kissed his shoulder. "So who's Kelly? Someone I should know about?" she joked.

Edd sighed, raising his eyebrows. "No, more like someone my mother should know about."

"Ah. Maybe it is a good idea to put the baby up for adoption. His grandparents are total freaks."

Edd gave her a bemused look and handed her the phone. "Amusing."

"Come on, let's go to my house. Maybe they'll call your cell."

"Maybe. If they know my number."

She held out her hand and they walked out the door, huddling together against the bitter cold. Marie knew her mother was still angry, but she'd have to forgive Edd eventually. Already he was like part of the family, and neither of them wanted to compromise the familiarity and respect he'd earned before this happened.

When they neared the trailer, Marie froze and tugged Edd's hand so he'd stop as well. "My mom's home."

Sucking in a breath, Edd sent her a hopeless glance and tried to stop his legs from turning to jello. "Should we go back?"

"No." She nudged him hard, already over her earlier apprehension. "She probably wants to talk to both of us."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

"Quit being a pussy and come on."

She dragged him behind her, heart thudding secretly. She knew her mother as a reasonable woman, but still hoped she wouldn't forbid them to see each other. Edd was the one she needed most through all of this, and she knew she'd end up doing something stupid like running away with him if that was the case.

"I was waiting for you two," Ms. Kanker said as soon as the door opened. "Eddward, come here and sit down for a sec."

He immediately did as he was told, knowing he couldn't risk slipping up in the slightest. The expression on her face was thankfully normal other than a few worry lines he wasn't used to seeing. For a few seconds, she let the two get settled while she doused a cigarette. "I'm trying to quit," she explained. "You know, for the baby."

Edd smiled nervously. "Oh, right. Of course. Very wise."

Drawing in a breath, Ms. Kanker leaned back in her chair and gave him a squinting look. "All right, Eddward, here's the deal. You impregnated my daughter and you're going to take responsibility for your actions, _both_ of you. Now I'm sure you know I've experience this issue before in my own life. When I got pregnant with Lee, her grandfather forced me to marry _her_ father, and you know how that turned out. I never owned up to my mistake, so I made it again. Twice."

Edd glanced at Marie, whose eyes were shifting around the room. Was she being called a mistake? Personally, he would find that hurtful. His parents had never said it out loud, but he'd seen their wedding photo and the pregnant belly peeking out from behind the conspicuously held bouquet.

"But…" she continued, unconsciously tapping a second cigarette out of the box, "I never looked back." With a smile, she leaned her elbow on the table and waved the cigarette at him matter-of-factly as she spoke. "I love my daughters. They bring joy to my life every day, and I know that raising them myself was not a mistake, even if it seems that way to others and even to me a long time ago. Now I still don't know what you two have decided on, but Eddward, I want you to know something about me, just so you'll see that I understand you two. I got pregnant a long time ago, when I was only seventeen, and I had an abortion."

Marie already knew this, but Edd was quite surprised. He nodded, hoping his shock didn't show and offend her.

"Sometimes I still wonder if I made the right choice. If that's what you two want, then I just want you to be prepared for what other people might say. You," she said, pointing to Marie, "are not a murderer. And you, Eddward, are not either. But if you know that it's not the only option, and if you know there's a better way, then let me tell you you will feel like a murderer for the rest of your God-given life. I guarantee it."

Edd gulped, wondering if it was his turn to speak yet. "M-Ms. Kanker," he said softly. "I think we've decided to have the baby."

Marie looked up at him, then at her mother, and nodded confidently. "I don't want an abortion, and neither does Double D. And… thanks for talking to me about it, because I think I might have done something stupid if you hadn't." Edd squeezed her hand, proud of her and wishing for a speck of thecourage that she had. Being around two strong women could be emasculating.

Ms. Kanker nodded slowly. "Well, all right, then. I hope you know what you two are in for, though. Marie, your feet are gonna be about as big as clown shoes. Eddward, your girlfriend's gonna swell up like the Good Year blimp."

"Mom!" Marie blushed angrily.

Edd laughed. "It's okay, really."

Raising her eyebrows, Ms. Kanker turned to her daughter. "Marie, you're sixteen. When this baby comes, Eddward, you'll be seventeen. Am I right?"

Doing the calculations, he nodded. The woman knew when his birthday was, even though he himself often forgot.

"Well, all right then. I know of a few adoption agencies that could set you up with an interview and we'll see what happens. The most important thing is to keep our minds sharp and to think rationally about this. Understand?"

Two simultaneous nods.

Ms. Kanker sighed, lighting up a cigarette. "I should have taught you better," she said.

"No," was Marie's soft reply. "Mom, this isn't your fault. It's ours."

Her hand was unsteady as she took a drag. "Well, I'm sorry you weren't raised in a normal family like Eddward over here. I know all that crap about nuclear families and shit is true, so… sorry your dad wasn't in your life, sweetie." Not waiting for another protest from Marie, she turned to Edd. "If you idiots keep this baby and you disappear, you'd better disappear for good and not come back to f*ck with us. You hear me?"

Though slightly offended by her accusation, Edd understood where she came from and agreed, albeit defensively. "I'd never do that," he said seriously. "I'd die first."

"You've got yourself a keeper." Ms. Kanker grunted as she stood and left the two alone.

"Is she mad at me?" Edd whispered.

Marie shook her head, feeling exhausted. "No way." Kissing him, she whispered, "That's her way of saying she forgives you. Okay?"

It was easy to believe. The Kankers' trailer, which as a kid had filled him with a sense of dread, was now like a second home. It felt good to belong once again, to know he had a place to feel safe and warm. Marie smiled at him and led him through the small hallway that smelled like cigarettes and candles, into the sparse living room. May and Lee showed up a few minutes later, tossing their schoolbags aside and plopping down on the couch. Suddenly it felt like a regular day, and Edd's first impulse was to rub Marie's belly and smile at her. "We're having a baby."

"Mm-hmm." She leaned her head back to kiss him, earning catcalls from her sisters as usual. They pulled apart when Ms. Kanker walked in, though she gave them the same knowing look she always did. The early evening sky was sheathed in gray, but sent light through the spaces in the blinds.

"You do realize you're gonna rub her feet every day, right?" Lee broke the silence, pretending to flip through channels.

"Of course," Edd replied, smiling and pressing his nose against Marie's.

"And you do realize this is basically a nine-month long PMS?"

Edd grinned. "I'm already used to it." Marie unwittingly proved his point by socking him in the shoulder.

"Well, if you think you can handle it, then it's your funeral."

Edd wrapped his arms tighter around Marie. "I think we can."

After a few hours passed, both of them had practically forgotten the afternoon's events regarding his parents. It wasn't until his cell phone rang that the topic rushed to their minds, and Edd fumbled with the small phone until he finally got it open.

"Hey, Eddward, it's me."

He looked both relieved and disappointed to hear Kelly's voice on the other end. "Oh, hello, Kelly. Did you speak with my parents?"

There was a pause. Marie was leaning in close to hear their conversation, Lee and May staring wide-eyed at both of them. Their mother had just left for her night shift, fortunately. It might have been difficult to keep her from yanking the phone out of his hand and trying to tell his parents what their son had done, forgiven or not.

Edd deflated at bit, glancing at Marie. "So they decided not to call me at all?"

"No, sorry. They're both just really busy today. They said if you had an emergency to contact the appropriate officials, though."

Edd's brow twitched into a frown. He'd never been so desperate to talk to them before, and their blatant refusal to be involved in his life was painfully clear today. "Did they say if they were coming home anytime soon?"

"No, they didn't say anything about that. Oh, but your dad did want to know why you weren't in school today. I guess he figured you'd skipped, since you called so early and everything."

Anger flared up inside him. "Well, you can tell him to ask me himself if he really wants to know. God, why can't they take two minutes from their day to call me?"

"I don't know," Kelly snapped. "I'm his secretary, not his wife. Don't take your anger out on me."

"All right, fine, I'm sorry, then. Look, please, just… just tell them that their son needs to talk to them right away, as soon as possible, them personally."

"I'll try."

His disappointment was clear as he snapped the phone shut. Marie petted his head in comfort and hugged him. "They're ass holes," she mumbled. "Don't worry, they'll probably never know about this."

Edd sighed, tucking his cell phone away reluctantly. "Yeah, but I think they should know. They should know their son is going to be a father, for Heaven's sake."

"Just put it on Facebook or something," May joked. "That's probably what they're too busy doing right now."

Marie snickered. "Yeah, they're probably spamming you as we speak, telling you to break up with me."

"Probably." Edd smiled, but the worry wouldn't leave him alone. He couldn't stop thinking about how he'd woken up this morning to find traces of them left behind. Was that their visit for the next few months? When he saw them again, how far along would Marie be in her pregnancy?

"You know, it's just that…" He stopped, realizing he'd spoken out loud. All six eyes were on him, so he continued, saying, "It's just that I've been trying to impress them all my life, and I know they don't care about that at all. They only seem to remember I exist at all when they reprimand me. And… I don't think I've ever heard them say they love me."

Marie squeezed his hand. "I love you. And I know how you feel, ya know?"

He nodded, then hugged her. "Sorry. Sometimes I forget I'm not the only one with problems."

The room's atmosphere had become too heavy for Marie's liking. She relaxed on the couch, staring up at the waterspot on the ceiling. It seemed to have spread.

Kicking off her shoe, she dug her bare heel into Edd's leg and commanded, "Rub."

"What? Your feet aren't swollen…"

"I don't care, you still have to rub it. Pleeeease? Mommy needs a foot rub."

She smiled as his expression softened. She'd never felt that his parents were worth the worry he seemed to exhibit constantly. All it took was a reminder that she was more important to him than them, that their child was more important than anyone. As he gently and skillfully massaged her feet, she sighed and sank into the loud cushions. Edd, as he smiled unconsciously at the girl he loved, found his eyes trailing to her midsection. Her hand was already resting on it, bare and pale against her high-cut black shirt. Inside, she could still feet that strange fullness, that whisper of life.

Suddenly feeling very tired, she closed her eyes, letting her arm shut out the light in the room.

Even when he knew she'd fallen asleep, Edd kept massaging her foot. His eyes couldn't decide between her and his cell phone. If they didn't call soon, he'd either have to come up with a creative way to tell them or simply go through it without their knowledge.

"Marie?" May whispered.

"She's asleep."

Though hesitant to leave, Edd wanted to be home as much as possible in case a miracle occurred. He gently took off her other shoe and lined them up perfectly before the door, then tiptoed back to her and kissed her on the cheek, maneuvering around her arm as it rested across her brow. If Lee and May hadn't been there, he wouldn't have been so shy and probably would have gotten lost watching her as she slept.

"Going home?" Lee asked, mumbling so as not to wake her sister.

"Yeah. Tell Marie I'll call her."

"Sure. Will do."

She and May watched him leave, watched him brace himself against the chilly dusk. Instead of waking Marie, they tossed a ratty blanket over her and clicked off the lamp, though orange still spilled from the window into the living room.

"Can you believe we're gonna be aunts?" May whispered.

Lee shook her head. "No way."

All the way home, Edd clutched his phone, willing it to ring because he wasn't sure how much longer he could wait. If anyone could give him the advice he needed most, it was them, he kept thinking. After all, they were quite young when he was conceived and to his knowledge didn't have much money at all. Now they were married, working at the same company, living in comfort. All he wanted to know was how they managed to do this.

Even if it meant telling them, even if it meant they'd gloat over how right they were about his irresponsibility, all he wanted was some hope that they could avoid handing the child away as if it were a mistake meant to be erased.

With a sob, he unlocked the door to an empty house and ran upstairs, chased by the cruel yellow adhesives that accused "Mary" and "Edward" of being the fools he now knew them as.


	6. Choices

The Wild One

~Chapter 6~

**(Choices)**

The long week began with morning sickness and heart-pounding anxiety as Marie prepared for her first day back at school.

After so many years sneering at education and playing hooky, the past few days had gotten her accustomed to staying home again. Edd's influence had helped her buckle down, but now Peach Creek High loomed as a pointless and superficial establishment once again. Leaving home made her feel exposed and fragile, and she wondered if keeping her pregnancy a secret was even worth the effort. Eventually her delicate condition would be plain for everyone to see, and already a fair amount of people had heard the rumors thanks to Ed's loudmouthed little sister.

Edd arrived just as she was considering skipping another day.

Once inside the building, paranoia set in, though if anyone was staring at her stomach it was only because she constantly touched it.

Edd had held her hand the entire walk, and was reluctant to pull away as the bell rang through the halls. Instead of speaking, they exchanged a knowing look and a quick hug before heading off in opposite directions. Nerves blinded them both as they pushed through the crowd of students and started counting down the minutes until the day would end.

Though she'd planned on working hard and getting caught up, which would no doubt impress Edd, Marie ended up daydreaming as soon as the teacher opened her mouth. School did not provide the distraction she had hoped for; instead, her thoughts focused solely on the issue at hand. Mind adrift, she weighed the pros and cons of her mother's suggestion. Already they were searching for prospective families and no one had even mentioned the possibility of raising the baby themselves.

She smirked at her own foolishness. With her home life and Edd's premature independence, the thought was almost too absurd to matter. Her family was already cramped enough in the poorly ventilated trailer without another addition. She hardly let herself consider Edd's parents reliable enough to support them. They may have had the money, but there were still too many holes to fill. Marie needed to be with the child 24/7, so it was completely unreasonable to expect Edd to care for it alone in that house, assuming those stuck-up snobs allowed her spawn near their home at all.

Undoubtedly, adoption was the most selfless decision, but that motivation hardly sufficed as she felt a sharp stab at the very thought. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't imagine making peace with it. Even if the parents were perfect, had it all, she still wanted that child for herself and badly.

She imagined going through with the next nine months, growing even more attached, eating right, dealing with the aches and discomfort, thinking about the possibilities, and then turning her back on it all. She imagined her future, herself as her mother was now, stopping every once in a while to think about what might have been. What if all she could think about when she saw her children's faces was the one she'd given up? What if this was her only chance to have a kid and she let it go?

She shook her head, hardly noticing where she was anymore, trying to convince herself that people went through the same thing all the time so she should too.

Adoption was the perfect idea. They'd find a nice couple who couldn't conceive and give them the gift of a child, then go on with their everyday lives. It was so simple… and that was what made it feel so impossible. She just hated the idea of having those pangs, those moments of emptiness and loneliness. She didn't want to be separated from the baby, and she didn't want to be resented. It hurt.

Tears stung at the back of her eyes, reminding her of where she was but not clearing the distraction away. She shakily opened her binder and began scratching down notes.

The next few hours weren't much different. She made an effort to pay attention, but suddenly algebra and economics seemed utterly insignificant. Her time in class was spent tapping her fingers on the desk, counting each wasted moment that ticked by. As lunchtime neared, she felt obnoxiously hungry but didn't look forward to food. Swallowing on reflex took an effort as her stomach rolled in protest.

At the sound of the bell, she hurried outside to find Edd and take a break from all the nonsense. She wondered if he would skip class with her, but doubted it; maybe it would be better to head off on her own. A part of her wanted to tough out the rest of the day, but a bigger part didn't.

Prying eyes snuck glances at her every once in a while, but fortunately her intimidating reputation kept them from approaching with any unwanted questions. Edd, on the other hand, had resorted to ignoring every passerby in the hopes that they'd grant him the same luxury. Already several unfamiliar faces had cast him knowing looks; he'd been hearing the familiar laughter, but with new connotations.

Seeing Marie didn't make him feel much better. Her expression mirrored his own of defeat and exhaustion, and they hugged on schedule and walked hand-in-hand toward the lunchroom, hoping their apprehension and unease would somehow be misinterpreted as heroic indifference.

"How's your day been so far?" Edd ventured to ask.

After a pause, Marie answered, "A pile of shit."

Though not surprised, he wasn't entirely sure how to respond. Instead, he simply squeezed her hand and pulled her closer shyly, wishing there was something of value to say.

"I just…" Marie continued, sighing in frustration, "I just don't want to be here, you know? I feel like it's a huge waste of time."

"You mean school?"

"Yes! It's effing pointless. What am I learning? I should be thinking about… other things right now."

Edd didn't like where the conversation was going. School was something they'd disagreed on so much in the past it was uncommon to breach the subject at all. The last thing he needed was to fuel her anger and start a fight at a time like this, so he decided to skip the lecture. "I know, but would you just try to stay? For me?"

Clicking her teeth together absentmindedly, she nodded with a bitter sigh. "I hate this place."

"I know."

The lunchroom was as crowded as ever, voices melding into an unbearable cacophony that reverberated from the plaster walls. Edd craned his neck to see what the cafeteria was serving, but there were too many heads in the way. The air smelled less like food and more like grimy floors and sweat. Marie frowned and pressed herself against Edd, closing her eyes and breathing in his soapy scent to calm her stomach.

"Oh, no," Edd groaned at the ironically unfavorable food available. The lunchroom attendants plopped hot dogs onto unwilling students' trays; the other choice was a simple sandwich complete with some sort of mystery meat slice and stark white bread.

"Crap, all they have is shit I can't eat!" Marie complained, drawing a few stares. "Come on, Double D, let's get out of here. All you have is gym and study hall next, right?"

Edd bit his lip. He'd forced Marie to read a number of articles about pregnancy, and it was clear that hot dogs and lunch meat were not good choices. His heart constricted as he remembered the warnings of Listeria contamination in these foods, which could lead to life-threatening infection or miscarriage. Marie was vulnerable to so many things, and he suddenly realized school provided these in bulk: stress, caffeine, unhealthy food, cleaning solution…

Though his next period was actually chemistry, he nodded and shrugged. "I suppose today isn't working out after all."

"Hey, you're eating for two, right?"

The couple's attention immediately turned to an immature-looking freshman boy snickering with his friends behind them. Before either had time to retort, another leaned out of the giggling group long enough to ask, "Who's the father this time?"

Edd surged with anger, but it was Marie who acted first, punching the first insulter straight in the face. Edd pulled her back and walked her away as quickly as possible without running, staring straight ahead, arm around her shoulder.

"Sorry," was all she could think of to say as they rushed away from the shocked crowd.

Ed and Eddy were already digging in when the two sat down across from them at the usual table. Eddy's eyes trailed to her stomach, but he looked away in fear of ending up like the kid with the nosebleed across the room.

Ed, oblivious of the awkward situation, waved happily. "Hi, guys!"

"Hey, Ed." Marie leaned her head on Edd's shoulder and groaned. "I'm hungry."

He shoved a hot dog at her, but she pulled back and shook her head, saying, "I can't eat those anymore."

"Well, shouldn't have gotten pregnant."

Edd and Marie both shot Eddy a glare, which shut him up but added to the tension between them. "F*ck off," Marie spat. She'd planned on holding it back, as Edd didn't like her swearing in front of Ed, but she needed the release, still fuming over the comments from before. Anger bubbled up inside her and she squeezed Edd's arm painfully, saying, "Please, can we leave now?"

Before answering, he looked over his shoulder to make sure no authority figure was looking for them after the impromptu punch. Marie was known for violence, but it had been a long time since she wailed on someone over some little insult like that. "Uh… well... yes." Turning to his gaping friends, he said, "I think we're going home for the day. Eddy, could you cover for me?" A blush exploded onto his cheeks as he spoke; so much for perfect attendance.

Appropriately surprised, Eddy answered, "Sure, Sockhead. Never thought I'd see you playin' hooky, though."

"I'm not playing hooky! This is legitimately important!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'll just say you two were _busy_." He smirked at the weak joke, but his expression changed when Marie smacked the table and hissed, "Eddy, if you don't want to take this seriously, I'm going to rip of your little ball sac and eat it! Then we won't have to leave for food, how's that?"

Edd momentarily covered a smile with his knuckles while Eddy shrank back, wide-eyed. Getting the last word wasn't worth it in this situation, he decided, and kept his mouth shut against anything he might regret saying.

"You understand, right?" Edd asked, clearing his throat. "It's important for her health." He paused. "I might ask you to do this more than once."

"Sure, sure." Eddy took a tentative sip of his soda, frowning in confusion as Marie continued to glare at him, then slowly settled back and sighed angrily. How someone like Double D could handle that girl on a daily basis was beyond him. He watched them sneak through the lunch crowd and noticed immediately how many people stared, then turned to whisper with each other. The boy she'd punched made an obscene gesture as soon as they passed by. Eddy sulked and stirred his tray as Ed shoved the poor excuse for food into his face beside him.

Edd and Marie walked straight out the back door and walked the fence of the football field to avoid suspicion. Lunching students smirked but didn't speak up, thank heavens, and Marie's trick offered them a subtle getaway once they were out of view. "I feel so guilty," Edd confessed.

Marie squeezed his hand. "Big baby."

Faster than they could comprehend, a couple of weeks became a couple of months. The glances and giggles turned into stares and serious whispers as Marie shoved through the halls with her hand on her belly. Only stretch pants fit her anymore; the maternity stores were too costly, so she bought "fat girl clothes" at department stores and safety-pinned the ones that hung too loose. According to the doctor, she was further along than they'd originally suspected.

Only twice more had she resorted to violence when dealing with a pesterer, then finally took Edd's advice and made an effort to avoid anger and stress. It helped that people remained fearful of her and actually seemed to withdraw even more once she started dealing punches.

Edd met her at the front door every morning instead of the trailer park entrance, packed her a lunch and constantly worried over her health and well-being. He had always found public displays of affection tacky; the most they ever did at school was hug or share a private smooch behind a door (at least after Marie agreed to stop attacking him during their first year together), but now he kissed her whenever they had a few moments and seemed enamored with the way her stomach felt.

The two spent most of their free time at the trailer, relaxing and doing homework together like nothing was different. Their escape was the company of the other, and Marie constantly convinced Edd to blow off the adoption interviews her mother set up for them.

While resting with her in bed, Edd did nothing but silently regret his decision. _Their_ decision. His mind was full of conflicting reasoning and emotions. He regretted breaking his abstinence, wondering just how exactly Marie had convinced him to. This always ended with him kicking himself for blaming her and for ignoring just how mutual the agreement had been. He was enthralled with her, in love with her, and just wanted to be as close to her as possible. He thought it would be okay to share himself with her because he thought they'd end up together forever. Suddenly everything scared him. She scared him. The baby scared him. The future scared him. He scared himself.

He regretted adoption.

Just like two years ago, they were both hiding something obvious and significant. Edd assumed Marie wanted to keep the baby, though she didn't outright say it. He himself tried hard to let logic overrun his emotions, but the bond between him and the unborn child was already too strong. He couldn't stop himself from dreaming about being a parent, raising a human being, one that shared DNA from both him and the girl he loved so deeply. He wondered what it would look like – would it take after him, or its mother? Marie wanted to keep the sex a secret, vainly afraid that knowing would strengthen the bond too much.

Holding Marie close, he stared out the frosty window at dark and heavy clouds. February was almost over. The baby would be coming in July.

Marie smelled like cheap perfume and moth balls. Her hair had grown out a little, exposing dark brown roots. Edd usually enjoyed watching her sleep, but now it left him alone with his unnerving thoughts. He wanted to know exactly what was going on in her head, what she really wanted so he could give it to her. It just felt impossible.

Wishing he could somehow fix it all, Edd settled beside Marie and let her stomach push against his. He kissed two fingers and pressed them against her swollen side.

His lips pressed gently against Marie's forehead as he stroked her face with a thumb. She was going to be a mother soon, and he was going to be a father. It didn't even feel real yet. Surely once he got over this emotional hump, he'd be able to think rationally about the situation and come to terms with the adoption. Surely.

With the first trimester over with, time seemed to be moving both uncomfortably slowly and insanely quickly. At this point, the fetus had limbs, eyes, ears, even a brain. There was a human growing inside his girlfriend.

Edd smiled despite himself, caressing Marie's stomach with his knuckles. "Hi, baby," he whispered. Tears suddenly pooled behind his eyes. "I… I'm going to try to make this work, I promise." He couldn't bring himself to promise things would go as he hoped. They would need a miracle for that.

Marie's brow furrowed as she awoke, stretching and nuzzling against Edd's chest. He kissed her head as she yawned, reaching up to place a hand on his arm.

"How are you feeling?" he asked softly.

"Mmmmm… I kind of feel like crap." She placed a hand on her stomach to find that Edd's was already resting there.

"Anything I can do to make you feel better?"

Marie sighed angrily as she remembered what day it was. "I really don't want to go to school tomorrow."

Edd tried to think of something to say in return. Marie had missed so many days she was already falling behind. Fortunately, the baby was due over summer break, giving them _some_ margin to sort things out when the time came. Until then, tensions might grow to dangerous levels if Marie refused to go to school every time she felt too sick or frustrated to go. Edd knew there was a lot on her mind and even more on her heart, but he feared that her reluctance could lead to dropping out completely.

Instead of answering, he continued to sit and think. Today, Marie had gotten out of an adoption interview with a very nice couple by saying she felt dizzy and needed sleep. Her mother was extremely frustrated with the both of them. They were frustrated with themselves and each other. Edd's parents were still ignorant. Things were beginning to crumble, but why? Marie couldn't place a word on it, but she knew she was tearing herself apart by experiencing unspeakable joy and unspeakable pain, both emanating from the exact same source.

"Can we just talk?" she mumbled.

Edd placed a hand on her shoulder. "Of course."

After a pause, Marie said, "I really don't want to do this anymore, Double D."

Edd's heart contracted. "What do you mean?"

"I mean… I just don't know. I don't know how I'm gonna handle this. I hate school, I hate being pregnant, I'm just sick of it all." Tears formed in her eyes.

Even before he spoke, he knew he shouldn't say what he wanted to say but it would come. They'd been bottling it up for long enough, purposely changing the subject so they wouldn't have to fight about school, but the time was here. "You can't quit school."

Marie sat up. "Why the f*ck not? Edd, you're not the boss of me, okay? And not everyone can be as calm and collected as you!" Her fingers dug into his shirt. "I'm falling apart and it doesn't even bother you!"

Edd sat up quickly, sending her off. "Marie, that's not true and you know it! You think _I'm_ not affected by this? And how could you say it doesn't bother me?"

"Because you think it's just nice and easy for me to stay in school! It's not that simple, you know. It's not going to help me in life, I'm not smart."

"Yes you are! You just don't believe in yourself!"

Marie sobbed. "And how could I? Look at me, dammit! I'm sixteen, I'm making D grades, f*cking _pregnant_, and not even married! I live in a f*cking trailer! And now I have no choice but to give my baby to some stranger because I'm too poor and stupid to take care of it myself! F*CKING SHIT!" She slammed her fist against the wall, followed by her forehead.

Edd's breaths came out shaky. "Marie…"

"Don't bother," she muttered. "I'm never going to be what you think I can be. Just forget it."

"What are you talking about?" He reached out a hand, but pulled it back when she began to speak again.

"I can't do this, you know? I can't stay in school and have this kid. I just don't think I can handle it. I need support, and I need to support… myself." She bit her lips, realizing what she'd almost said.

"Marie, I know it's hard, but –"

Marie cut him off immediately. "You _know_? You _know_? Bull crap! You have NO idea how I feel right now!" She'd turned her tear-stained face to meet his, angry beyond words though she couldn't say why. Perhaps it was because Edd wasn't the one carrying this burden. He wasn't the one with no choices. "You can just go on with your life willy-nilly without a care while I carry this baby with me forever! FOREVER, Edd! Not just for nine months, but for the rest of my F*CKING life!"

She blinked in surprise when Edd seemed to break, finally, after all this time he'd been acting like it was easy. Tears poured down his face and he fell forward, sobbing uncontrollably. Marie breathed and sat back against the headboard, hugging her knees. She couldn't help but think they'd been fighting too much over little things, and now neither could handle the biggest they'd encountered because they were too weak.

Gathering enough composure to speak, Edd said through his hands, "I don't want to either. I don't want to give it up either."

Though she hadn't even mentioned how much she wanted to keep the child, Edd's words immediately registered.

After a period of heavy, heavy silence, Edd sat up and wiped his eyes, saying, "I don't want to do adoption. I'm scared. I don't want to give it up – I want to be a dad so badly."

Marie swallowed hard, tears returning and washing away her anger. She lowered herself beside Edd and wrapped her arms around him, kissing his forehead before pressing her cheek against it, letting the tears fall freely onto his hair and skin.

Edd's arms wrapped around her weakly. He continued to gasp and sob, muttering, "I don't want to do this. I love the baby, I know it sounds stupid and you might not believe me and I can't explain it, but I do. I just want to see it grow up, you know?"

Marie turned her head and kissed him softly, repeatedly. The tension slowly but surely dissipated from the air until the sound of rustling clothes, light snowfall, and kisses were the only additions to the gentle silence.

"No, I believe you," she whispered. "I believe you."


End file.
